Where Should a Baby Sleep?
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February 16th, 2009
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The number of babies sharing bed with their parents have increased a lot during the past twenty years. So have the amount of babies strangled and suffocated. This is a heated subject which many parents can't discuss objectively. Since dangers are apparent and many lives are saved, how come parents don't use a crib more often?
An article by NYT talks about the fourfold increase in rates of strangulation and suffocation:
The reasons bed sharing has increased are multifaceted. For some parents it is about bonding with their baby, and ease of breastfeeding; for some it is a periodic thing, because a child is sick or frightened, or because the parents just happen to fall asleep with the baby in their bed. It also seems to be cultural — the phenomenon is more prevalent among Asian and African-American households. And sometimes it is out of sheer necessity — the family can’t afford a crib.
You might remember the recommendation that a baby should sleep on the stomach. Advice was changed in 1996, to sleeping on the back, and the rate of S.ID.S plummeted. But bed sharing apparently increased a lot since then. For some reason most parents refuse to believe co-sleeping is less safe.
I see no real problem with sharing a bed with an infant if it's done correctly. Which is rarely the case. Simple steps like removing fluffy pillows, using a firm mattress, removing heavy blankets, and not use a water bed. Removing headboards and footboards, and moving the bed away from the wall is also a good idea to avoid a baby getting wedged in. Plus not going to bed piss drunk.
Not exactly rocket science, but parents often turn a blind eye to these simple precautions. We've used a crib from day one for both our kids and it's worked very well. Our kids have still spent many nights in our bed while being sick or having nightmares. They are both always welcome to our bed but rarely come over. But sharing a bed with kids also often means a crappy sex life with a partner which can destroy a relationship in the long run.
Lets see, much safer for my kids and also more sex. Tough choice……:-)
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my wife & i used a co-sleeper bassinet [http://www.armsreach.com/] when are 8-yr-old was an infant. it attaches to the side of the bed so the baby is at bed level but not in the same bed. it worked well except for middle-of-the-night feedings after which we’d all fall asleep. but our daughter survived and so did our sex life.
I love to cosleep with my 2 year old son! We have an unshakeable bond and I do believe that sleeping together helps us to cement it! It doesn’t work for all families, but it works for mine, and that is all that matters. ;0) I will sleep with him in his room until he decides to kick me out. I know he won’t go off to college still sleeping with me. I will be sad when he decides to sleep alone, but I will also be very proud of my little man for being independent. I feel that I am helping him to develop a sense of security by parenting the way I do. He is a true blessing in my life and I am ready and willing to do whatever is necessary to help him be the best he can be!
Thanks for the rockin’ car seat! I absolutely love it! Thank you thank you thank you thank you! You might help me save his life one day! You ROCK!!!!
I completely and totally agree. Living in India, you have to seriously go against the tide to put your child in his own cot and later (gasp!) in his own room. But I really believe that cot-sleeping is the safer and more comfortable option so I have stuck to it, even though there are people around who think it is weird/ selfish parenting
This is a touchy topic though. The research out there is very conflicting. A recent study showed that kids who co-slept with their parents are emotionally healthier. And even some studies that say that it reduces the chances of SIDS (with precautions like appropriate bed-gear and avoiding alcohol and drugs). And I came across a rude article where they said that people who want unrestricted sexual access to their partners should have considered cat-ownership instead of parenthood!!!
Like with most other things in this parenting thingy, the opinions are strong and the research ambivalent. I guess you just have to go with what you feel is the best for your particular child and your particular family.
It’s easy to identify with one side or another in any debate on children and how to raise them, but I think it’s really important not to judge. I was a die-hard breastfeeding fan…that is, until I had my baby and dealt with endless health problems for both me and my baby as a result of breastfeeding and had to make the agonizing decision to give it up at three months. I have a new understanding now of parents’ decisions to breast feed or not, to co sleep or not, etc. etc.
Interestingly enough, some experts — such as James McKenna — think that co-sleeping actually REDUCES SIDS because babies’ breathing is regulated by their parents’ breathing at night as they sleep next to them (ever noticed when you breathe into your baby’s face how she takes in a breath?)
Anyway, I every family should do what works for them.