Where Is The Laughter Of Children?
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June 24th, 2007
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I spent two weeks in Frankfurt earlier this summer and immediately realized there was something missing. No babies or pregnant women. Zero. There were no laughing babies on the sidewalks, no parents having lunch or a drink with their babies napping in the stroller, Autobahn rest stops had no babies, and no children at all in the malls or grocery stores. The contrast to other countries is so drastic is almost freaking me out. I do not exaggerate when saying I see more babies or pregnant women in Stockholm during five minutes than I have seen in Germany during four weeks.
Imagine a military weapon, a giant bomb, that was dropped over a country and killed all babies and pregnant women. That''s of course not what has happened in Germany but it sure looks like it. If you have children or not, I really don't care. I think kids are great but you will not find me showing my views down your throat. But there's a problem. A country needs babies to survive economically. No laughter on the streets of Germany will have gigantic negative consequences for this country in the future. The economy has already been in the toilet for the past 15 years and no babies will surely not make it better.
People are increasingly choosing not to have children which is perfectly fine with me but a large problem for the nation. Compounding Germany's trouble is many babies born are by poor immigrants who often need government assistance. Correctly or incorrectly, most people largely blame Germany's problems on immigrants.
Other nations in Europe are also facing problems of few new babies. Remember Italy? Home of large classic family dinners and more grandkids that you can count. That's a thing of the past. Italy now has a growth rate as poor as Germany. No babies to be found in Italy either. The differences from the previous generation are unbelievable.
So how come there are no babies or pregnant women? There is no definitive answer but poor benefits for parents is a major reason. At the moment mothers, and there are unfortunately ONLY mothers involved in staying home with small kids in Germany, must usually quit their work to take care of a new baby. And that can be expensive.
I've also noticed that most people seem to be annoyed when kids are around. The only exception are people 70+ who love kids. I'm so used to everyone smiling when they see children playing and having fun, that doesn't happen often in Germany.
Rules have changed this year which make it easier for fathers to stay home part of the time. But compensation is still very limited, both for mothers and fathers. If you have a high paying job you can count on a huge cut in income. The changes are a step in the right direction but it will likely take a generation of more until people start thinking differently.
We currently have a HUGE baby boom in Sweden. More kids are born than ever before. Historically, our growth rate is low but it's become very popular to have children during the past 5-10 years. Benefits have not changed but I sense an increased focus on family and children regardless of background.
Having a baby is now kind of trendy in Sweden. It's manly to be the father of a child and take 6 months or more of paid paternity leave. So what do I care about these things? Probably because I'm boring, but also because I've seen in Sweden how work, family, children, and parental leave can be combined in a way that benefits everyone.
Parental leave, for both mother and father, is just one of the many benefits in Sweden which makes it possible to have a baby and combine it with a prestigious (or normal) job. And that is a great solution for employer, child, and parent in the long run.
I really miss the sound of babies in Germany. I don't like screaming kids but seeing no babies or pregnant women is spooky. It feels really strange. My German friend Robert, who's family has this year also graciously offered me Chateau Sibbel, has three great children and is surely doing what he can to keep the number of German children up. Maybe that's why his nickname is "Sex Machine".
Will the attitudes of German's and other European nations change in regards to children? Maybe, but it's a long process. And I doubt people will change without better benefits from the government which makes it less difficult to combine family and career.
I suspect the country will be forced to offer MUCH better benefits in order to survive. Few babies born means large cuts in benefits or higher taxes. Those are unwanted changes but soon reality unless the Germans start having some more reproducive sex:-)
Yes, I hear you totally ! What’s more, I think in general in Germany, kids are not tolerated very well. I am from India and a cousin of mine who lived in Dusseldorf came back after 6 excruciating months where her apartment management said neighbours complained of baby crying ( and admiteddly , Indian babies are vocal and how !I guess they are pre-conditioned genetically to have a million ( hell, make that billion ) voices chattering around ) .
But I did see a similar attitude in Finland when I lived there for a while. Children in general were considered a spanner in the works socially and career-wise. But I think they now have more liberal laws to make it more convenient for women to have babies and a career and for men too , like you say , to take paternity leave and contribute to a child’s upbringing. But Finland and Sweden are two countries who’ve faced the repurcussions of not having children around due to war and strife but I think the governments have efficiently handled these and things are much better.
Hi! I am an American writer with two kids. We live near Munich, Germany. In the country you’re bound to see more kids. Frankfurt is known for its banks and bad beer (just kidding). You’ll find more families live outside of metro regions for cost and safety reasons. All told, living in Germany with kids can be fun. As your motto so aptly reveals, it is possible to laugh and have kids, too. Even in Germany, believe it or not.
The reason you see more kids in Sweden is women have better employment/child care options than in Germany. Women have been put in the intolerable position of truly having to choose between their professional ambition and their desire for children. I work from home for a US PR firm and feel incredibly blessed to have the set up I do. So many of my friends are frustrated housewives. Imagine a world in which German women were liberated.
~Christine Hohlbaum, author of SAHM I AM: TALES OF A STAY-AT-HOME MOM IN EUROPE
You talking about neoNazi types? I haven’t heard that “most” people think that.
Like it or not, without babies or immigration or _both_ certain countries are going to see plenty of unpleasant consequences that come with a shrinking (and aging) population.
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