Weekend Photo - Are You My Dad?
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March 18th, 2007
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Daniel, 2 weeks old - Are You My Dad?
I love this photo. My son is only a couple of weeks old and is probably not wondering if I'm his dad, although that is what I choose to believe. It's more likely he's wondering where the hell he is. My son had a terrible delivery. He was under a lot of stress, came out blue, and my wife had a horrible first couple of weeks. But he turned out to be such an angel. Nice, kind, happy, and laughing from morning to evening.
Not only has he been kind and gentle to his parents during the first three years, he has so far been an amazing big brother. Protective of his little sister but willing to share his toys and give her hugs and kisses. I tell him how helpful he is every single day. But when he gets older I will explain just how much he helped us out during those first few difficult months with his baby sister. When she was colic and had reflux he still showed amazing patience.
So far he's very close to his little sister and we want to keep it that way. It's one of the highest priorities we have. I don't think there is a magic recipe for keeping siblings close but I believe in lots of interaction from the very beginning. And for both to show each other respect.
I have seen both good and bad sibling connections in my life. A good example would be my wife's family, who is very close. Especially the three kids. A bad example would be me and my four year old younger sister. We have nothing in common and never speak. We don't fight but there is zero connection. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted since I don't seem to have much in common with my sister or parents. Being adopted would not be bad at all but it would be good to know.
I've asked my parents why we me and my sister are so distant from each other. Did we not interact when we were toddlers? Was there no attempt to keep us close? When did our relationship drift apart? Did something dramatic happen? I've so far gotten no good explanation for our failed relationship.
I don't want to know to assign blame. I want to know so I can learn and hopefully avoid a similar situation from happening with my own kids. Close siblings can share successes and support each other during difficult times. It's a life long relationship which continues after parents are long gone.
From childhood photos (below 6) I can see that my brother (elder by 3 years) and I had plenty of good times. Then we sort of drifted apart, I think we barely talked to each other when we were teenagers. We were just interested in different things. I was the academic type, he was the explorer type. I love reading biography type books, he loves reading mystery and sci-fi novels.
But now that we’re adults, we’re close even though we are in different countries half way around the world. Somehow the internet has helped. Whatever we can’t say in words, we can say it in e-mails. We don’t write each other often… we get news from our mum. He doesn’t say much, but I know he’s got my back. If there’s ever anything I need, I know he’s there for me.
Not sure if there is a recipe! My daughter is very close to my son. She often acts like the mother which brings a reprimand as she is not the boss!
I am not sure if we have any control as parents beside the fact of creating an environment of sharing and loving. After all, even if we are siblings, it doesn’t mean we need to have similar interest. It wouldn’t mean we don’t love each other.
This is from a guy with 2 brothers and a sister which are all business partners in different business. I get along differently with all 3 siblings but they are all close to me and a huge support in what I do.
The question to me is this one. If I am stuck in a prison in China. Who do I call… at this point, I have 2 options… brother 1 and brother 2.
I have the same relationship with my brother as you have with your sister. It amazes me when I see our three kids getting along so well together, because it’s such a strange concept to me that someone might actually enjoy their siblings!
My brother is 9 years younger than I, so really, I was out of the house when he was just 7! We have a fairly nice relationship now, but as kids…well, it was like we were only children!
GREAT photo, btw!
my brother and i were brought up with my family telling us that no one earth shares our crazy mixed heritage and that when our parents are no more we will have no one but each other. with 15 months between us, we had common friends and did a lot of stuff together. today at 28 he is my best friend. i am hoping that my two children will share that. i feel parents need to nurture it. it doesnt necessarily happen on its own.
my husband doesnt really like his sister. its not just disinterest.. its a dislike. and i feel to a large extent its because the parents pitted them against each other and used them. instead of nurturing a relationship.
if kids are brought up as friends they remain close. the moment you make one boss or take care of the other i notice dislike and resentment.
my son is 22 months older than his sister and at this moment he loves her. i really dont know how long that will last…
Nice photo! family relationships is important…
Apr 23rd, 2007 at 2:18 pm
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