Update – A Trilingual Upbringing
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September 25th, 2006
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We're now two years and seven months into our little "experiment" with teaching our son three languages at once. Some people believe it's difficult for parents and children to handle all these languages but it's actually very straight forward. It does take a little planning and discipline and also a bit more patience but it's overall a great solution to give your children a nice start in life. I've talked about this earlier but last time I made an "official" update was back in March. Back then we were excited that Daniel was learning lots of new words but still lagged most of his other friends his age in the vocabulary department. Lately we've taken a large jump and Daniel is able to communicate a lot more clearly. The most exciting thing is that he now separates the languages automatically depending on who he is speaking to.
If your spouse or partner is from a different country you might want to teach your children two languages from the very beginning. Or perhaps three, like we do. If you plan to stay in your current country for a few years you should also look into different schools 
to see how they approach family situations with more than one language. Here in Sweden we have dual language schools but also free support and extra teachers for children that go to regular schools and speak more than one language at home. Decide what you want to do from the very beginning and stick with it (if it's working fairly well). From day one we've had the same setup. I speak only Swedish to our son, Sandra speaks only Spanish, and we speak English to each other. From the start it's also important to know that your child will start speaking a little later than other children in the same age. And vocabulary will be more limited in the beginning. We've always felt relaxed about this and never felt like we were behind. On the contrary, our child might be three months behind in vocabulary at three years of age but will be speaking three languages fluently by age four. We only see upside with that but if you're one of those parents who constantly like to compare your child with others you might not like that your neighbors kid has a superior vocabulary early on.
When I was young and learned three languages in school it was never because it would one day be needed. Back then it was the thing to do if you were good in school. My parents always made an effort to help me out and many times quizzed me for hours, especially in English. I remember to this day how pissed I was since I was having trouble learning proper grammar. But today I'm glad they "forced" me to learn, I've used my language skills a lot more than I ever dreamed of. Back then it was not obvious to study extra languages but thankfully my parents together with my teacher suggested this and I thought it sounded like a good idea at the time. I might have been decent in English anyway but I would never heave learned German. The Spanish was also picked up many years later by myself when I started hanging out with my current wife.
Up until two years and a few months Daniel mixed mostly Spanish and Swedish regardless of whom he was speaking to. 
He does very little English right now but that's no problem since that's the easiest language to learn. This summer something strange but cool thing happened when we spent two weeks in Germany playing tennis and seeing my friends at Château Sibbel. Since I speak pretty good German I used mostly that down there and this amused my son. He thought it was funny to hear his dad talk in this new funny language. My friends have three German boys aged 9,8 and 5 who speak nothing but German (a few word of English as well) and Daniel was hanging out with them many hours each day. We were actually going quad-lingual for a couple of weeks. I don't know if this triggered something in Daniels head but as soon as we got back to Sweden he started speaking to us in separate languages. Out of nowhere. Sometimes we mention to him that mom and dad are speaking in different languages but I feel it's a bit early to expect Daniel to understand what we mean. The great thing is that it came completely naturally. From one day to another he switched his vocabulary. It's so cute to see him speak Swedish to me and then answer Sandra in Spanish at the same time.
Annika, our newborn girl, is only seven weeks weeks old but we are following the same language strategy with her. Swedish, English and Spanish. It will be very interesting to see at what pace she picks up the languages since she's a girl. My guess is that she will speak a little earlier than Daniel. A while back we also applied to a dual language class, English and Swedish, at 
Daniel's current day care place. The class is for ages 3-6 so he would not start until the spring when he turns three, or perhaps in the summer. I'm a little hesitant to switch since our current day care has been working great from the very beginning. And also because Daniel knows very little English so far. But we must also keep in mind that we might move to another country at some point and English might then be the desired language. A decision will be made in the next few months.It's clear that languages are becoming more important for our children The global workplace and affordable airfare has lead to families moving around much more than previously. I see that as a good thing and having the kids learn an extra language or two at an early age comes so incredibly natural. We're obviously not doing any kind of classes etc. Just speaking and reading to our kids in different languages. I wish I could still learn stuff as quickly as the little ones. Our requested extra Spanish teacher will soon join Daniel a few hours each week at his Swedish cay care and speak nothing but Spanish to him and a few other students with Spanish speaking parents. Should be a good compliment to what we are currently doing but it doesn't really count as a formal class.
Drop me a mail if you have any questions regarding additional languages for your children. I encourage you to give them that great gift while they are still young.
Have a nice week!
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Thanks for this great post. I have a lot to write (and will do so via email), but I am very impressed. I’m raising my sons bilingual in Brooklyn, NY and have had some of the same experiences, but I will say it gets harder as they get older. And, when the siblings are around, they talk to themselves in what I call the default language – which is English here. (I have cousins who grew up trilingual in French-speaking Switzerland and they all spoke French to each other – so I have to wonder if that is a common experience.) Keep up the good work and keep reporting on the trilingual progress.
We are trying to teach our daughter’s spanish, even though my husband and I only speak English. They are taking afterschool Spanish classes (we live in California – Spanish seems to be the second language in our state). Our babysitter also speaks Spanish to them – I wish we could do more…
“He does very little English right now but that’s no problem since that’s the easiest language to learn”
I have never heard anybody make this claim before… usually it is the exact opposite, saying English is the HARDEST language to learn.
Very interesting article, thank you. I’m Slovak, my wife is Hungarian and we live in England. We are expecting a baby soon, so we’re in a process of finding out what the best strategy for a trilingual upbringing is. My wife is bilingual (Slovak and Hungarian), we speak Slovak at home. We would like our child to be able to speak all three languages, with English as the first language probably, since we live in the UK. Unlike you, we do not speak English at home – we’re hoping the child will pick up English from a childminder or at pre-school, other kids, etc. My wife will speak to the baby in Hungarian and together we’ll speak in Slovak. Doest it seem like a good plan to you? Or would you suggest speaking English when we’re together? This might be awkward from the beginning, since that’s not what we’re used to. I’d really like to know your view. Cheers.
Hi. My name is Blanca, I speak spanish, my son Ethan, 4 years old was born in the USA from an american father, now we live in Austria since may 2004. I don’t speak spanish to my son bc even though is my mother language it sounds a bit unnatural I don’t know why, maybe cause he was born in the States or bc I have a little pressure from his family in the USA to teach english to him, before spanish. Well, when we moved to Austria he was about two years old, and he learned of course German quite fast, he speaks German now, and though he understands english and some spanish he hears from my friends or family he only wants to speak German!!!!. That also makes me feel like I have to speak German with him, so we can sort of connect. It makes me sad bc I wanted him to speak three languages like your son very well does. Do you have any advice for me, is it too late for him? how can I encourage him to speak english and a bit spanish?. My boyfriend speaks only German to him, I do mix english and german sometimes. Ok, I hope I’ll get an answer from you. Your children are adorable!!!!!. Thanks in advance
Blanca Pippan
This is GREAT!!! I’ve been doing research on a strategy to teach 3 or 4 languages (Konkani-Mandarin-English-French) to our future kids. To know that your plans are going well is a great comfort. Keep up the posting.
Hi,
We have been bringing-up our child in 3 languages since day 1. She is now 20 months old, and has a vocabulary of over 400 words in all 3 languages; namely, English, German and Spanish. She already talks a number of simple sentences and devotes a lot of her own time flipping through books (the right way around!) in these languages. We have and continue to play her Japanese language tapes. Unfortunately, we have yet to further motivate her in this fourth. Later this year, we are planning to go and live in Tokyo for around 6 months. BTW, we currently live in Mexico; my wife is Canadian and I am Swiss.
Was good to read your article.
Dilip
I am currently doing research on Trilingual First Language Acquisition for my Masters in Language Education from Indiana University of Bloomington. Your blog about raising trilingual children is a wonderful help!
Thanks and keep posting.
Michele
Hey
I am also worried about trilingual education.
My husband is korean I am german-korean and we live in the states. We were thinking about just teaching out son korean and german at first than when he gets into kindergarten he will learn english by itself. But I am still struggling what the the best way.
This article gave me some depth view about trilingual education.
Thanks
Hi
Just what I was looking for. My husdand and I was thinking about donig the same thing. I would speak swedish, my husband german and with friends and outside,as we live in Australia, it would become english. You have just confirm to me that we should take on the challenge. Thanks!!
Hi! this was a very helpful post as im a Psychology Major in TN and was raised in NYC. Me and my future wife have been looking into this being that we both speak English and my first language is Spanish and she also speaks German. Most studies said teaching 3 languages could confuse the child greatly but i love your approach. I worry that since English was only spoken to each other and not the child directly that the child will not learn English as quickly as needed here in the United States. Any suggestions? =] thank you!
Hi,
We have good news too. Our son at three and a half is enthusiastically trilingual. We live in Germany, I speak English and his Dad Italian. We speak English together.
We spoke and read at least 3 books daily in each language from 6 mths onward.
We kept third language (German) out of our home- no TV or radio and never mixed or switched. If we had to use the other’s language for some reason, then we would then speak through a special puppet who spoke that language. (Alberto the Italian and Roswitha the German). We as ourselves, using our natural voices only ever spoke our languages.
By the time he started morning kindergarten at 3 and 3 months,he was ready for L3,the dominant society language; opbviously motivation to learn L3 was high. (The kindergarten is bilingual Italian and German).
I am convinced that part of our success is attributable to both L1 and L2 from Mum and Dad respectively having equal usefulness to a toddler – neither being the language of the playground, or the immediate environment.
We put in a lot of effort though, boy…
Hej! Very interesting reading! I’m originally from Stockholm Sweden but have been living abroad for the last 13 years. I had two children with a French man (now 8 and 11 years old)and failed to make them bilingual, mainly because of lack of support from their father and I also found it difficult to continue speaking in Swedish when they answered me back in French…so now I communicate with them exclusivly in French eventhough they understand quite a lot and speak a little Swedish that they have picked up from visiting their Swedish grandparents 4 times/year. I’m now married to an Englishman and we have a one year old boy together. Currently we are all living together in Zurich Switzerland. At home, at the dinner table we mix French and English because my childrens’ English isn’t better than my husbands French…so we improvise. Since little Tristan was born my husband and I have spoken English to him and his half brothers have spoken to him in French. He also has books and dvds in both languages. He is 13 months ans hasn’t yet said his 1st word but I hear this is normal. Now, I am having second thoughts about not speaking Swedish to my son and wish to start before it’s too late. I heard from a friend who is trying to teach her son three languages that it’s possible to have let’s say in my case ‘ a Swedish day’ or two per week to introduce a third language. My older children like this idea as they would get to practise their Swedish but I’m worried that my son would get very confused as I would speak two languages to him and that my husband would feel left out.( He is actually very supportive of the idea ) Also, how much will it delay my son’s speaking skills? I don’t want to make the same mistake with my third baby not teaching him Swedish but when it’s all in the same family isn’t it complicated ? I should probably add that baby Tristan has just started an Eng/German speaking daycare centre where he will go two days/week. Have you got any ideas/advice to give me ? Many thanks in advance and keep it up! Jenny
Aloha Daniel,
yes I was raised in Hawaii..we are Chinese born and live in Hong Kong at present.
Both my husband and I speak Cantonese and English to our daughter Kalani. I also speak Mandarin and also love many other languages though not as fluent. She is now 18th months and like you said her vocab and vocal seem just a little slower (not much) as we ask to what. whom and where etc in both languages. In her playgroup..there is a Mandarin speaking teacher who comes in for 15 mins 3 times a week and speak and sing in Mandarin (her tension spand seems limited) but than again several of the other kids also run off to play with toys instead. I even say numbers in Japanese, German, French and Spanish to her as I am quite fasinated by languages and like you said it was fortunate that OUR parents had us study more than one language when we were young…My parents speak English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Indonesian, Malay, Hakkah (another Chinese dialect) and some Dutch. So even I myself am chopsuey! ha ha
Strangely though, being the youngest in a family of 5…I am the only one to absorb most of the languages of my parents…my other 4 siblings..not really…wonder why is that…
so much for now…Kalani’s been asleep for a while now…I too have to run and catch my z’s..nice to hear your experiences…guten nacht! yvonne
Hi There!
You have no idea how relieved I am to have found this article! This trilingual subject has been on my mind for quite some time now, and since I will giving birth in December of 2008, it’s something I must decide NOW!!!
I am Greek Canadian, raised in Montreal… which means I had to go to French school (by law). So I speak English (from the community), French (from school) and Greek (from home) fluently. I now live in Greece], and my husband speaks Greek ONLY. So, the problem I face is the following: I am the parent with the knowledge of 2 languages.
We’ve already decided that I won’t speak Greek… But I’m not sure how I, myself, will manage to speak 2 languages without confusing my child.
I really want to give my child the gift of English and French… The idea that my child might not learn one of these fluently really upsets me. Unfortunately, I’m not sure how to go about it.
Do you have any suggestions?
I thank you in advance for ANY help :)
Oct 26th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
[...] Unfortunately I see this quite often. It goes back to being an informed parent. To know what's normal and what's not. It's instinctive for most. Without looking at other children and seeing what other families are doing, I find it difficult to do a good job as a father. All children are different so it's not about competing. It's about observing others and perhaps use things that work well on your own child. Most often customized individually of course. There seems to be a need today of more hand-holding for parents. The intense focus on our children is usually good but spirals out of control when parents need an answer for everything. Children are very complex individuals who all develop at a very different rate. Often we just need to let kids be kids and let them develop at their own pace. A good example of this is our use of three languages in the household. It's not that common to raise your children tri-lingual but we're doing it with good results so far. (Some of our experiences can be found here, here, and here.) But it means our son speaks less at 2.5 years than many of his friends. He speaks two, almost three, languages and is rapidly catching up to his pals who are just using one language. We were of course aware of this before we had children and have not freaked out while comparing our child's verbal abilities with others. But a badly informed parent might have gone to the psychologist:-)) [...]
Nov 20th, 2006 at 4:04 pm
[...] Posted on Monday 20 November 2006 Mondays suck. I hate Mondays. But I'm feeling pretty good today since we had a great weekend. Nothing special happened but things are simply going very well across the board. I don't know what the hell has happened to Annika but she's sleeping like a princess. Since her rebirth she's been sleeping from 7-8 pm until 3-4 am before feeding and falling back asleep again. And we though that was good. But for the past week she's sleeping through the night. 7-8 pm until 6 am, and then sleeping longer again. I hate stupid parents that brag about sleeping but since she was almost impossible to comfort during the first two months, this feels like a nice payback. Mainly for the wife who's the one getting up for every feeding and handling most of the crying.. Daniel is doing great and has once again breezed through a month of school sickness with nothing more than coughing and a runny nose. He's talking so much nowadays, you can barely tell we're teaching him three languages at once. He's even starting to pick up more English which means we have to be careful with our secrets. I just read an article which points out just how important it is for dad's to be involved in communication with their kids. "Daddy Talk Boosts Toddler's Vocabulary" reports that the number of words a father uses with his 2-year old will show benefits later on in the vocabulary. Researchers at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill have found that the number of words a father uses when a child is 2 might influence the child's vocabulary a year later. [...]
Dec 20th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
[...] We've reached a new interesting phase in the tri-lingual upbringing of our son Daniel. As you might know, we've been raising him to speak three languages from the very beginning. The issue of raising kids in a few languages at once is nothing new but it's becoming much more common because of the global workplace. If you're used to mixing languages on a daily basis it's no big deal, you can find a few thoughts on our progress here, here, and here. If you only speak one language you're likely to feel very confused and intimidated by the whole adventure of languages. [...]
Aug 9th, 2011 at 10:19 pm
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