AdventureDad

Our daughter Annika just turned one month a couple of days ago and once again I'm shocked over how quickly time passes. Our son is two and half but it sure feels like it was not long ago we rushed into the hospital for his delivery. Being a parent second time around has been a lot easier and more relaxed than the first time around but it's amazing how a new child shakes up the everyday routines. Here are a few things about being a new parent that I had (deliberately?) forgotten:

Sleep - All new parents can count on cutting down on sleep for a a short(?) while but it's tough to get used to waking up at night. It's amazing how much it wears you down to carry a crying baby for a couple of hours. Fortunately this stage only lasted five days for us and we now get to snooze 4-7 hours between breast feeding's and there is no crying at night. Thank God for that. Remind me to have more sympathy for parents whose children have sleep problems into their toddler years.

SIDS - When I feel uncomfortable about something I usually rely on statistics to realize how silly it is to be worried. I know the risk for SIDS is unbelievably small, especially if the baby is resting on it's back, but I still think about it. It's difficult to explain my concerns. I'm not freaking out or trembling with fear but I still have thoughts about a disaster in the back of my head. I just don't want to wake up one morning and find my daughter dead in bed. I can't imagine a more difficult thing for a parent to go through. The uncertain origins of SIDS makes it worse to cope with. If a plane crashes, a house burns down, or I die of a heart attack, qualified people can usually figure out what went wrong. Not so with SIDS. There are theories but no one really knows what causes it.

Mother rules - An overwhelming majority of mothers breastfeed, here in Sweden it's something like 98%. The positive health effects are enormous and the relationship between mother and child is naturally extremely close. Fathers support in any way they can and this works out very well. But I miss not having that special bond early on. Getting more attention is difficult when there are two huge boobs filled with milk in the house. Bottle feeding is one way to equal the parents but the health benefits are just too large to bottle feed simply for this reason.

Older Sibling - When our daughter was one day old I realized that the older sibling is the key to a functional and relaxed family. If the older child is jealous, obnoxious, and protesting every move it's very difficult to get anything done. Fortunately the older brother has been an absolute dream so far but that can change any day. Makes me very happy that we tried to teach our son some basic behavior skills at an early age.

Poop - I had totally forgotten how much a little infant can shit. How is it possible that so much stinky stuff can come out of such a small baby? Three quick poop's in ten minutes is no problem for our daughter. Usually around 3.30 am when I'm the most unfocused person on earth. And the stuff smells like hell and has the color of green radioactive waste. I'm getting great workouts by constantly running out with that foul smelling trash bag.

Support from society - I can't tell you how much it helps to have a society infrastructure that's practically built for family and children. Not only is the pre-birth routine relaxed, helpful, and professional but the support after birth is incredible. Short stays in the hospital during normal births are common in Sweden, we were home breastfeeding on the couch after less than 24 hours, but before leaving the hospital everything is planned and scheduled for you. Hearing tests, your personal midwife, follow up tests and checkups, social security number, daddy's more or less mandatory two weeks off work, and government forms are all taken care of by helpful people before leaving the hospital. Everything is done so that every family can have the maximum amount of peace and quiet at home during the first crucial weeks . For the first month nurses even come to your house to check on the baby and answer any (usually quite a few) question parents might have. All done so that families get a relaxed and smooth start with their baby. The first week had barely past before we received the first monthly government grant of $150. And this continues every month until age 16. I think it's ridiculous that people get money for having children but I'll take it anyway……

Baby Björn - I just love this accessory and can't imagine having a baby without it. We're using the Baby Björn Active this time around which makes long walks seem like nothing because of the nice support. There are other similar brands and designs who might be equally good but of course I've got to go with the Swedish stuff my countrymen invented:-)) Our daughter falls asleep as soon as I step out of our place and take 25 steps. Another plus is the ability to have a few beers at a couple of nearby outdoor bars while I take those long evening walks to put her to sleep. The greatest plus comes in six months or so when I turn our daughter around to face forward. The best way to chat with cute women is to have a Baby Björn with a cute infant. It's my only chance to get attention from the opposite sex and I don't even care that they aren't looking at me and only chat in baby-speak.

Incredibly Small Stuff - Everything is tiny. Buttons, socks, shoes, hats, diapers, and outfits. I'm used to throwing my toddler son around on the bed while I change him and give him a high five. I struggle massively with the small stuff, especially at night in darkness. Any task takes me twice as long as the wife. 

I can't wait for her to grow up, become a toddler, and give me a chance for some more two-way interaction, but at the same time I know that when that time comes I will look back once again and wonder where the time disappeared. 

Have a nice weekend!

Categories: Annika
Tags: