The Disappointment Of Having A Baby Girl
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October 13th, 2006
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There seem to be some kind of strange virus in our little neighborhood. One only affecting pregnant women. All the kids being born lately have been girls. 100 freaking percent. We all laugh about it and I'm sure it's just a coincidence but it's still kind of odd. We live in a fairly small building with another couple of small buildings around us but the ratio of girls lately is just astounding. Our neighbor had a girl two weeks after us, Ann-Sofie had a girl one day after us, we had a girl, Mimi had a girl two weeks before us, upstairs neighbor had a girl two months before us, Helena had a girl three months ahead of us, Spanish neighbor had a girl four months ahead of us, and Brazilian neighbor had a girl six months ago. Quite a trend! Sweden is a very modern country with men and women very equal in society and no one really cares about the sex of the baby. Well, unless you already had 3-4 boys, then I understand you want something different:-)). We're happy to have a girl as a second child but girls are not desirable in many countries and cultures which is heartbreaking to me. I sometime reflect on this and consider myself lucky that I will never be involved in a culture with those kind of values. It's feels really backwards to be disappointed over the sex of a newborn baby. At least it does to me. I grew up in the modern world where men and women are worth the same. Especially here in Sweden where equal rights for men and women have reached further than any other country. I wonder what it feels like for a mother to have a girl and then have to throw her away in the trash because her husband or family things girls are not worthy to live and instead prefer a boy? Like they do in China (and I'm sure many other countries as well). From well known BBC:
On the garbage dumps that surround Beijing, scavengers from time to time will find a newborn baby girl amid the stinking refuge. Sometimes she is still alive. Every year, say researchers, perhaps a million girl fetuses are aborted and tens of thousands of girl babies are abandoned. "One baby died before we even got her home," says Mrs Chen. "Another garbage scavenger had taken her clothes and then left her to die. I was the only one who would pick her up. I couldn't bear to see her die."
Chinese society is throwing away its little girls at an astounding rate. For every 100 girls registered at birth, there are now 118 little boys - in other words, nearly one seventh of Chinese girl babies are going missing.
That kind of behavior just kills me. Can you even imagine tossing your still living baby on the trash dump and walk away? Hearing the helpless baby screams as you walk away. I understand that culture is important but this is just plain wrong. There are also millions of girls aborted simply because they are girls. My stand has always been pro-abortion if it's for a very good reason. Let's say the mother is 14 years old, the child has Downs syndrome, the mother was raped, or the mother might die during delivery. In those cases I have understanding for those choosing to abort their child. But my views have changed a lot since I had my own children and although I'm still pro-abortion I don't look kindly on those that do it for the wrong reasons. Choosing abortion just because the baby is a girl goes against everything I believe in. This kind of thinking is also very common in India. From Washington Times:
"Stockbroker Amandeep Singh had a booming business in Bombay and seemed a happy man when he learned that his wife, Seema, had finally become pregnant 10 years after they married. The childless north Indian couple went to a temple and prayed to the Hindu god Ganesh to bless them with a healthy son. But then, a secret ultrasound test showed the baby growing in Mrs. Singh's womb was a girl. "We want to have a small family with only one child, and we don't want it to be a girl," Mrs. Singh told a family friend. "There's pressure from my in-laws — we have to have a son." So Mrs. Singh, 32, went with her mother-in-law to a suburban clinic and had the fetus aborted. Afterward, she told the friend that she and her husband were now focused on trying to have a son who could be the "perfect heir" for the family and also for the business.
Is this backwards thinking or an attitude that more people should follow? I think it's completely wrong but at least a couple of billion people disagree which I think is kind of scary. My wife is Mexican I which is not really a modern country but at least it's not in the stone age. I would argue, perhaps incorrectly, that boys are maybe a little more popular than girls but no one acts as unethically as some Asian countries. No abortion just because it's a girl and there are very few instances of babies treated like trash. Thankfully. I start shivering when I think of how many innocent babies are thrown away. To me, that's much worse than an abortion.
It's Friday afternoon, time to uncork the bottles at work and get ready for the weekend. Give your child an extra hug tonight and be thankful (and hopeful) that you'll never be forced to throw away a child just because it's a girl.
Have a nice weekend!
I agree with you. It is so sad to see that couples in parts of Asia does this type of action based on the sex of the baby. Due to culture influence and society pressure (i.e. having a girl means family name does not carry on OR having a girl means giving an enormous dowry, etc), families have taken such drastic steps. Sigh! I believe ultrasounds are now actually banned in India because the high abortion rate based on baby’s sex. I could not even imagine the act of ‘throwing’ your own child away. That is just so cruel!!
Definitely extra hugs and kisses to Erik!!
Dang it apparently my wife has begun to stalk your site and got in a comment before I did - I would understand if you ban us from visiting your site. :D
Before we knew the sex of my child - I was always determined to have a baby girl as my first born. (Infact got a 8 boxes of girls clothes which we had to give away) - All the way upto the ultrasound I was sure that I was going to have a girl. (**Nurse said that babies with a usual high heart beat rate were usually girls) — Well right now I love my son to death and if I had a daughter that would have been a blast too.
At least now I can hold off on buying a shotgun and electronic fence around my house. :D
Have a nice weekend.
It hasn’t been too long since I either saw or heard a PBS-type story about how boys are greatly outnumbering girls in some schools in places like India — and of course there’s a dearth of girlfriends and potential wives when probs like that pop up.
My first kid was a girl. I really wanted the second to be one too, but the ultrasound didn’t lie. He’s been a cute, mostly calm, fun and funny boy.
That is such a sad post. I can’t even imagine throwing away a baby. I don’t agree with abortion except in extreme circumstances (I don’t find Down’s Syndrome to be one…sorry) There are so many people who want to have children and can’t…this breaks my heart. I wonder if these countries realize what they are doing. I mean, if everyone has boy babies then how will they ever have grandchildren? It’s hard to have babies without women. I would have been just as happy with a girl as I am with my boy. Babies are wonderful!
Fortunately, there are many people such as my Wife and I who have been waiting for 3 1/2 years now to adopt one of these precious little girls from China. We still have about 4-6 months to wait - we just pray the time speeds up so we can fly over to bring her home to her new family. ( We have loved and wanted her and been travelling a very long and hard adoption journey to reach her - who ever she may be - since befor she was conceived! Eric & Laura
Dec 31st, 2006 at 8:58 pm
[…] Posted on Sunday 31 December 2006 Annika 4 Months Old Canon EOS 20D, 17-40 L, 550EX, ISO 100 This years big event for us was the birth of our daughter Annika on August 9. It's perhaps a bit selfish to count that as a big event since there are billions of children born every year. It's not that she's more special than other children, we're just happy everything went well and she turned out to be healthy. Boy or a girl, we sure didn't care. Although I will admit that everyone was right, girls are much more difficult than boys. At least so far. Annika has been much more challenging than Daniel but we're managing fine. I'm hoping she will be very easy during the teenage years. Yeah right. …… In this part of the world no one has a preference for the sex of a baby. Unless you already have four girls, then you might want a boy. If you look around the world today, it's not uncommon for people in countries to abort as soon as they know their loved one is a girl or simply dump them as garbage as soon as they are born. Alive. This is standard practice in countries like China and India. Isn't it fascinating that that the same girl can be a treasure or a pest depending on where you live? Instead of being cherished a girl can be treated like a menace and pest. We're very proud and happy for the gift of Annika and will do our very best to give her a happy and interesting life. As this year comes to an end we don't have any New Years resolutions or crazy promises. We're hoping that the whole family stays healthy and I look forward to spending some more time with my daughter later this year. Not only are we planning a month long trip to Mexico in February but I'm also taking some parental leave later in the year. Thanks to the excellent benefits in this country I will be enjoying 3-6 months, I haven't decided how long yet, of paid parental leave which will be very nice for the whole family. I wish you all a very happy and healthy 2007. Best of luck. […]