Terrible Twos or Fantastic Twos?
By
on
May 3rd, 2006
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Daniel is now 26 months old and getting into the much feared state "Terrible Twos". As you all know this is where the children show more of their own will and they develop an urge to make their own choices. In short, they become little rebels. The odd thing is that Daniel is showing no signs of Terrible Twos and is instead going the other way. He's becoming nicer for every day that goes by. We have a case of Fantastic Twos on our hands. And this has been going on since …. actually it's always been like that. Daniel has been a dream from the beginning and made parenting look kind of easy. I'm not bragging about him, he's no smarter or better than any other child, but he does make me look like a superstar father (which I appreciate). I tend to be skeptical to overly wonderful things so this behavior is making me suspicious. My own theory for his behavior is that it's all part of a plan by God/aliens/science/grandparents (pick what you believe in) to trick us into having more children. We've had such a great time with Daniel that we're having another child, a girl due in August:-), and we fear that she will be the absolute opposite of our son. colic, screaming, terrible temper, sleep poorly, sick all the time, and be nasty to all her friends. Isn't it a lovely picture I'm painting of our unborn daughter:-)?
Sandra has been fearing the Terrible Twos period and started asking other parents about it when Daniel was less than a year old. Most parents gave us a grim picture and told us to watch out so we've been in the starting blocks for at least six months. To be fair, Daniel had a period of about two weeks when he was a irritated and obstinate. But it was just after we got back from our six week vacation to NYC and Mexico. Perhaps he was just dealing with the jet-lag, a cold, missing the grandparents, and was confused about the change in scenery. But that stage passed quickly. He's still saying an automatic "no" to many questions we ask but not in an angry way. Questions like "Do you want to sleep?", "Are you hungry?", "Do you want to take a bath?", "Should we stop playing and go brush your teeth?", are all met with an automatic "no" response. But he follows along anyway. I'm not surprised. It's like asking me if I've had too much to drink or if I though some girls boobs were too large. That's an automatic "no" 100% percent of the time.
I love that Daniel is understanding more and can communicate what his needs are. It seems like he's reached a nice level of maturity for his age. It's very odd and it's quite often that I look at Sandra in shock since he's actually doing exactly what we are asking. Around Easter Sandra went candy shopping for a kids event we held at our house. Daniel got to pick out as much candy as he wanted. He was the happiest kid ever seen in that store as he was running around with a large scoop filled with candy. We ended up with around 4 lbs. and he was of course ecstatic about seeing all that sugary stuff. He wanted to taste some and Sandra gave him one piece of candy and told him he could have as much as he wanted during the Easter party. The only problem was that it was Monday and the party was on Thursday. But he nodded, had his one piece of candy, and didn't touch the bag after that. No nagging until the party. Very strange. On Saturdays we give him some sweets and perhaps an ice cream but not often during the week. If he asks for candy on Friday we can calmly tell him that it's Friday and he will get sweet stuff tomorrow. And he just nods and doesn't nag any more. Daniel loves to ride on trains and buses. Some days when we're taking him to daycare he passes a train and is just dying to get on. But after being told that we don't have time today but will ride tomorrow he simply nods and continues to daycare. No arguments. I would expect him to occasionally freak out and be very impatient but it's extremely rare. This behavior is indeed very suspicious.
The next part of the plan would be to make Daniel keep this nice behavior until he finishes his teenage years and moves aways from home to live with some responsible girl he met in church and dedicates his life to take care of his elderly loving parents. Yeah right. We'll probably soon get our asses kicked by the Terrible Twos.
I truly wish you nothing but the best. Baby Girl was AWESOME until about 2 months before Peaches was due (she was getting ready to turn 2). She turned into a humongous drama queen–and still is. For every wonderful high, there is a tumultuous low. Peaches was the nightmare child you were just describing above. I don’t wish her first 10 months on my worst enemy. I’ll tell you one thing though–she completely humbled us since we were starting to think we rocked as parents. We don’t. We found that the first couple of months into the Terrible Threes were much worse than the twos. But I know every kid is different.
We not only had the Terrible Twos but are SO enjoying the Terrible Threes. Our Okapis - especially our girl - can be SO difficult. It is true that the highs are HIGH and the lows are LOW, making us want to run screaming from the house without looking back. They challenge us so much - maybe because we’ve always had a schedule for them. I’m not sure. They behave well with others, but when it’s just us…the gloves are off. Not all the time, but enough where it makes you wonder. BUT, talking with them, sharing things I love with them are so much more rewarding now than ever before. It is utterly exhausting and draining, but I wouldn’t change it for when they were two or babies.
Yeah, in some kids it is three. It was three with Maya. With Nata it has already started. But they are pretty easy going kids. Don’t count on the teenage thing. Then he’s have to go in the world record book for perfect child. ;)
We’ve got a 26 month old on our hand and, aside from the occasional “no…no….no”, she has been pretty good. A bit slower to react to requests, but for the most part pretty happy and cheerful, unless you happen to give her milk in the wrong colour cup - look out!.
Sounds like the cliche “Happy as a kid in a candy store” held true for you!
I know ONE kid who absolutely skipped the terrible twos. It was one of my brothers. Then he turned seven and into the worst hellion ever!!
Jun 9th, 2006 at 2:51 pm
[…] Last month I wrote about Daniel's complete lack of the Terrible Two stage and his very easy going manner. Of course I jinxed us by writing this and a couple of days ago Sandra had her first difficult incident with a very stubborn Daniel. He was basically telling Sandra "no" to all of her suggestions and became very angry. He refused to leave a friends house, then didn't want to leave a park, and finished off by refusing to enter the car. He cried and cried as Sandra carried him away. When I got home at night he was very mellow and I could tell he had been through a tough day. Sandra explained in detail what had happened and she did not feel good about doing things against his will. This is our very first incident when he behaves in this manner so we're pretty spoiled. After lots of thinking we came to the conclusion that he acted angrily because Sandra had upset him the night before during bedtime. I also told Sandra that I have bad memories from my childhood and the way my mom was acting in these kind of situations. I was older, perhaps 5-13 years old, but for me it's still the same thing. She was not using heavy force, but there was no attempt to solve the situation though talking. What I wanted, felt, or thought, was not important. I still to this day, more than thirty years later, remember several of these incidents clearly. And I will not ever solve problems that way with any of my children. Sandra told me that she had tried everything possible and of course I believe her. But I had immediate flashbacks from my childhood as she told the story. […]