Staying Sane - Time Away From The Children
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November 2nd, 2006
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Last night was surreal. A huge snowstorm blew into town in the afternoon and people had major problems getting home after work. There was not much snow but the streets and highways turned to ice and all cars 
were stuck since most people had not switched to winter tires yet. My embarrassingly short commute of 15 minutes by bus took me over 90 minutes and I had to walk the last mile in my suit on the snow filled streets. The city had basically stopped, I've never seen anything like it. Keep in mind that Sweden is a Nordic country, we're no sissies, and used to massive amounts of snow and cold weather. As I walked into our place at 6.45 pm. the house was quiet. Too quiet. I looked at my wife with puzzled eyes and she just told me that the children were already asleep. What? At 6.45 pm? Happy days! We proceeded by having a few steaks, opened a couple of bottles of nice wine, and talked for a while. We're pretty good with taking time off from the kids, except the past few months with our newborn, and I was once again reminded of how important it is to relax and spend some time with the spouse. Without the children that I love more than anything in the world.
were stuck since most people had not switched to winter tires yet. My embarrassingly short commute of 15 minutes by bus took me over 90 minutes and I had to walk the last mile in my suit on the snow filled streets. The city had basically stopped, I've never seen anything like it. Keep in mind that Sweden is a Nordic country, we're no sissies, and used to massive amounts of snow and cold weather. As I walked into our place at 6.45 pm. the house was quiet. Too quiet. I looked at my wife with puzzled eyes and she just told me that the children were already asleep. What? At 6.45 pm? Happy days! We proceeded by having a few steaks, opened a couple of bottles of nice wine, and talked for a while. We're pretty good with taking time off from the kids, except the past few months with our newborn, and I was once again reminded of how important it is to relax and spend some time with the spouse. Without the children that I love more than anything in the world. I've mentioned this on my site many times before and also talked about it at The Blogfathers. It's in my opinion one of the the largest mistakes parents make after having children. They stop living and instead only live for their kids. You and I know that kids are great but we also need to keep parts of our pre-children lives. I need some time alone regularly from both wife and kids and I also need some time alone with my wife. Without it I go crazy and become a miserable asshole. We used to have babysitter night once a week before Annika was born and plan on doing that again as soon as she can survive a little longer without breastfeeding. Annika is now an absolute delight to be around ever since she was reborn two weeks ago. I feel a lot more confident about Sandra leaving me and the kids alone and more often encourage her to get some time to herself.
Our kids are pretty good sleepers, at least I think so. Daniel sleeps from 8 pm -7.30 am without waking up and Annika now sleeps from 7.30 pm - 3 am before having some food and then sleeping in until 8 am. That means that it's just the wife and my every night after 8.30 pm. It's time that we both treasure and it gives us time to relax. 
I have friends who's kids don't sleep until 10 pm which means no private time for mommy and daddy during the week. Personally I can't handle that unless the children are sick or there is an emergency. My advice to you parents would be to schedule time away from the children every week. And all you fathers, step up and give the mother some time away from you and the kids. Encourage her to go out with friends for dinner, work out at night, or whatever she feels like doing. Take charge of the household every now and then before or after the kids are asleep and let your wife relax. If you're a SAHD you know how hard it is to handle the kids day after day, if you're not you should at least experience it for a while. Then you will realize why it's a good idea to send the wife to the spa or just away from the kids on a regular basis. Don't just think about it. Make sure you do it. I promise you it will be great for your relationship, the family, and the children.
I have friends who's kids don't sleep until 10 pm which means no private time for mommy and daddy during the week. Personally I can't handle that unless the children are sick or there is an emergency. My advice to you parents would be to schedule time away from the children every week. And all you fathers, step up and give the mother some time away from you and the kids. Encourage her to go out with friends for dinner, work out at night, or whatever she feels like doing. Take charge of the household every now and then before or after the kids are asleep and let your wife relax. If you're a SAHD you know how hard it is to handle the kids day after day, if you're not you should at least experience it for a while. Then you will realize why it's a good idea to send the wife to the spa or just away from the kids on a regular basis. Don't just think about it. Make sure you do it. I promise you it will be great for your relationship, the family, and the children.The two hours extra we had last night were soooooo refreshing. I felt it and I noticed it on Sandra this morning as well. It doesn't take much to recharge, give yourself and your wife that opportunity. Think of it as another part of improving on your quality of life.
I completly agree. We go out about twice a month on Friday or Saturday and a few times a month one of the grandparents keeps them for a weekend afternoon.
I’m so glad Annika is a happy girl now. She is so freaking cute…I love those cheeks. She looks just like her Mama. Daniel is looking more and more like you every day.
How do you guys do it? Erik is still not sleeping through the night yet! He usually goes to bed at around 10pm but sometimes its 11pm, which is just crazy for Chhimi and me. By that time, we’re wanting to sleep too! After that Erik would get up every 2.5 - 3 hours or so!! Share some tips, AD!
Nov 7th, 2006 at 12:27 am
[…] Contrbuted by: Megin Hatch I have “me time” on the brain for a few different reasons. I have read several articles in the past week about parents making time for themselves. Like this one and this one. I also had a conversation with a young friend who is struggling a bit with maintaining her identity outside of marriage and motherhood. I also am leaving for a girls overnight in roughly 70 hours (but who’s counting?) I am really in the “lucky” category on this topic: I go out every single Thursday night with 2 friends. […]