Sex In The City
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on
November 17th, 2006
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My daughter must be psychic and she definitely doesn't want another sibling. Kids were in bed the other night, dinner finished, and apartment cleaned up. After some wine we were both on the couch starting to…… you know, get intimate. As soon as we touched each other we suddenly heard something from the bedroom. Annika was awake. We looked at each other with desperately as wife ran into the bedroom to quickly calm her down. She returned in a minute, Annika back asleep. We once again get together on the coach and we barely touched each other before hearing Annika wake up again. This time for real. Forget about sex, Annika wanted to eat. The most amazing thing is that Annika has not woken up one single time since her re-birth a month ago. She's slept from 8pm to 3-4 am every single night. But of course not on the night when we finally get together for some action after what seems like an eternity of no sex.
Unlike many men, I've never been interested in talking about sex with friends. None of their business. But discussing relations during and after pregnancy feels different to me. It's more complicated and involves so many more factors. Plus the talk is usually anything but sexy. Perhaps it's too personal or embarrassing for most but the issue is important. If both partners aren't on the same level it will most likely lead to problems. It's common that men complain about too little, or simply zero, sex during the later part of the pregnancy and first few moths after. Personally I think it's stupid to complain. You've having a child, giving up or decreasing sex for a little while is a small sacrifice to make. We had some serious problems during this pregnancy and wife also felt like a whale. Sex was the last thing on her mind for many months and I don't blame her. If you're used to working out, being fit, looking good, and enjoying some wine, pregnancy can be a drag.
It seem like my mind was totally prepared for having another kid. As you know, men think about sex at least 24 hours a day. But during the pregnancy my brain unconsciously realized that there would be no sex and simply turned down my sex drive a few thousand percent slightly. Problem solved, without even having to think about it. During our trip to Germany this summer, I talked to Robert about pregnancy and the first thing he told me was how great their sex life was during this time. I thought he was joking but he was totally serious. It was a funny moment and a great reminder of how different a pregnancy can feel for other couples.
The most important thing seems to talk to your partner. Explain how you feel and what the expectations are. Men are often useless a this but it pays off to dig deep and try to understand what your wife is going through. It can be tough, especially since we all know the only way to fully understand a women is to be psychic:-))
Have a nice weekend!
We were the same during pregnancy- it was great.
Losing a job kind of took it out of me. Lately, I’ve been feeling whale-ish, and that has affected my desire. I’m getting back into it now, but it takes time to get it together. It’s also not so easy when you are out of shape, and I am TOTALLY out of shape.
Good for you that a) you are trying and b) you are willing to talk about it. The hardest thing for men, I believe (as do many experts) is our unwillingness to talk to our friends about personal aspects of our lives. We have some great resources right at our fingertips, but since we only know how to talk about golf and football, we fail to capitalize.
How come you never take me to Germany?
I remember reading in a pregnancy book that women in their second trimester of pregnancy often develop very high sex drives, and then being very disappointed when it didn’t happen to my wife.
Like you we’ve just had our second child, and all her interesting bits are either recovering from or functioning as their alternative purposes. Like you my brain has automatically turned my sex drive down a notch or seven, but I admit I’m looking forward to the time I can turn it back up.