AdventureDad

Growing up as a teenager in Chile today sounds like lots of fun with the sexual revolution in full swing.  Latest trend for teenagers is going out to clubs, dancing, showing off their piercings, and making out with as many strangers as possible.  Wish I was a teenager again…..  NYT has a short story about the rapidly changing Latin countries. The older generation find new found freedoms of  children disturbing and repulsive but I would be careful dismissing it as nonsense.  You see, Latins are world champions at raising  children by forbidding everything without actually talking about it.  Saying "No!" to everything might work temporarily but is it a good long term approach to form independent, caring, and mature children?

The place is a tangle of lips and tongues and hands, all groping and exploring. About 800 teenagers sway and bounce to lyrics imploring them to “Poncea! Poncea!”: make out with as many people as they can.

And make out they do — with stranger after stranger, vying for the honor of being known as the “ponceo,” the one who pairs up the most.

Latin parents say "No!" to everything considered remotely dangerous, adventurous, or challenging.  Problem is, our kids learn most from these kind of situations. Sex is a good example. It's taboo to even talk about it, forget even mentioning homosexuality or sexual education.  And don't even think about discussing contraceptives, condoms, boyfriends/girlfriends, or relationships.

I've met tons of parents who raise children by setting impossible limits without explaining their reasoning.  I've yet to see it work decently in a single case.  Limits should be firm and so should routines, but treating children like babies is  insulting and stupid.  Our youngsters will after all grow up one day and become a product of what we taught them.  My favorite example is a Venezuelan/Finnish couple we know where the mother raise her now 6 year old daughter in such a mind numbingly stupid and disturbing way I constantly thought about calling children services.  How many times can you say "No!" to a child in a single day?  The answer might shock you.

The sexual revolution in Latin America might sound terrible but I think it will lead to great things.  It will  force parents to discuss previously taboo subjects with their kids, forcing older and often out of touch parents to actually get involved in their children's  lives. Who knows, a father or two might incredibly enough take interest in what goes on with his kids.  And maybe parents will learn that talking to children and treating them as teenagers, not  5-year old's, won't stop youngsters from testing limits and doing stupid things but knowing more about consequences and  dangers can do wonders.

While most parents seem to have immense fear of teenage years, when possibly embarrassing subjects will have to be discussed, I can't  wait for this period.  That will be the time where I can see benefit of being an involved and working hard with my kids.

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Categories: Sex
Tags: , Chile, dangerous, exploration, features, Parenting, poncea!, Sex, South America