My Most Depressing Moment So Far
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December 13th, 2007
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Friday last week was the most depressing day with my children that I can think of. It was the last day of my 6-months of paternity leave. The feeling when I left my son at day care on Friday was absolutely horrible and came out of nowhere. Somehow I imagined my return to work being a relief but it was instead very emotional. Suddenly I realized it would be the last day in a long time I would leave Daniel, play the rest of the day with Annika, and then go and pick Daniel up in the afternoon. I left Daniel with his teacher on the playground and as he waved goodbye my eyes were all watery. I had to run away before I started crying.
Not many fathers have the will, stamina, and financial opportunity to stay home half a year with two kids. Even fewer have the desire to do it with both his children. It's not suitable for everyone that's for sure. But if you have a possibility to stay home for an extended time with the children, take it. You will never regret it. I promise. The children are only young once, it's easy to forget this simple fact.
I hear so many fathers talking about how things will change. How they will work less, take the children swimming or skiing, attend all events at school, be there for doctors appointments, stay up through the night when the kids barf, and become extremely dedicated fathers. So far, I've NEVER seen it happen. Not once. If the desire wasn't there from the very beginning, I've never seen it change. I'm sure it happens, I just haven't seen it.There is no substitute for spending time with the kids. Without lots of time one will never be an outstanding father. One might be decent or good but in my view never superb. A father must be there for the kids in order to get that extremely close contact and hard to find, special relationship. Paternity leave may not be a must, but plenty of time sure is.
Being a weekend father has never appealed to me. You know, come home from work and hug the kids, then take them to the park over the weekend while reading the paper. I'm so glad I've had possibility to stay home with the kids for such a long time. And I'm even happier I decided to take that opportunity and built something special with my children (and wife).
Daniel and Annika, you're outstanding kids. It's been a privilege to be so close to you for these past six months. I will never forget it.
I really wish I had more time to take too… ever since Erik moved to the toddler class and having a new boss I have not been able to visit the day care as much… let alone take off more time to be with him…. it is very depressing and all the pictures of him in my cube helps but not a lot…. miss the real thing.
It’s even getting harder now that I have to share his time with his Grandparents…
Hence me not wanting to have another baby till this can change… and just like you I never ever want to be a weekend dad…
Take Care and Happy Holidays to you and your family.. PS: we are going to IKEA tonight for a St. Lucia event tonight :D
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I agree with you and empathize. I am a single dad, and was home with my son for about 3 months. Leaving him at daycare is SO hard, even 4 months after he’s started. If there was some way I could think of to work only a couple days a week or from home, then I would for sure - nothing beats time with your kids.
Lucky, lucky you. And lucky, lucky them.
Aww, hang tough dude.
Oh man. I am so sorry your paternity leave is up. I know how much you have enjoyed being at home with the kids. Hang in there. I know Henric is jealous that you got to take it. Living here in the US screwed him big time in that regard. I hope your heart feels better soon. Kram.
I’m sure the kids will also miss having you around as much as you miss them. But it is wonderful that you could take some time off like this. Probably you should do this again after a couple of years. I think that will be a different experience than this time, cos the kids would have grown up a bit. So how is it now that you are back at work?
This was such a sweet post. You should save it for your kids.
I have 2 more months of my 6-month maternity leave. I will miss being home with my son. With my first child, I only took 4 months and it wasn’t enough so this time I took 6 months, but something tells me I’ll wish I still had more time!
Its great to know you spend Quality time & enjoy every minute of it.
I am sure your kids will not forget the great moment also,
All the best & Merry Christmas & Happy new Year
Tracy ho
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