AdventureDad

Mothers day was apparently not pleasant everywhere.  A huge fight started in a Toledo restaurant over a baby that would not stop crying.  Mothers were hitting each other, throwing chairs, and the police eventually evacuated the whole restaurant  and 200 guests had to go home. Seems like a stupid fight but children's behavior is a topic  often discussed.  We travel  lot with our children and like to take them to restaurants.  Just how should parents behave with their children to make the experience nice and pleasant for everyone?  Are parents showing enough respect for other without children?  Are people in general tolerant enough of crying kids?

I don't know more than what the article says but it seems like the mother just let her child sit there and cry for quite some time.  The restaurant was buffet style so probably not a fancy place but I think these situations can  easily be avoided.  My experience is  people are extremely understanding and helpful if a parent tries to be flexible and soothe the baby in some way. Doesn't matter if the baby is still crying, at least someone is trying. 

My views regarding crying or annoying children has not changed since my pre-children days.  I don't like it much.  Flying with screaming kids is no fun and sitting in a restaurant with a screaming child is not exactly relaxing.  But despite traveling around the world much and constantly eating out I must say  it's extremely rare that I have annoying experiences.  But the focus should be on the parents, not on the baby. 

We've so far done around 35 flight with our children.  During the flights I try to combine our needs with the people around us.  I don't think it's fair for the other passengers that my baby is crying and I do nothing.  When my kids are annoyed I walk around the plane with them, give them, food, or do whatever I can to keep everyone happy. A good example is our recent 24 hour nightmare flight to Mexico.  Our first bad experience on a plane.

It was a bad experience for us but not for passengers. When our daughter was annoyed I walked around  to avoid waking the whole plane up.  I stood for hours in the   rear of the plane with Annika in the Baby Björn.  Rocking back and forth trying to make her sleep. That's when I wasn't changing her poop filled clothes in the bathroom of course. She was fine as we stood there chatting with the nice cabin crew but trying to put her to sleep didn't work at all.  I could just have sat at my seat and let her cry, pissing off the whole plane, but I think that's a bad idea.

Having a good experience with kids at a restaurant can also mean being very flexible.  Different places means very different rules.  At McDonald's or Chuck E. Cheese kid behavior is of course lax.  But if you go to a nice restaurant unwritten rules are not so flexible and a screaming baby will lead to a bad experience for everyone.

My son has rarely been a problem but my 9-month old daughter is impatient.  She can sit in her chair for a while but will might get annoyed.  What we usually do after a while is  take turns eating.  I might hold her for a while or walk around the place satisfying her curiosity. Then I hand her over to the wife for a while.  She might still nag a little but people are always very understanding.  I think the key is showing some respect. Not everyone loves babies.

When people see  a parent having problems and trying to find a solution,  they are likely to be more sympathetic.  After all, you're dealing with a baby with a mind of her own.  My experiences has been people being extremely helpful when we have some situation but are working actively to do something about it.  

If you like to travel or hang out at restaurants with your small children I have some simple advice.  Use common sense and show a little respect to others.  Everyone might not think a screaming child is cute.  If your baby is crying a lot, try to actively do something  it. Don't just sit there pretend everything is fine. 

You as a parent know better than anyone what the problem might be and what your child needs. Despite hundreds of restaurant visits and many flights, occasionally with screaming kids, we have never been met by  an unkind word.  Pure luck?  Maybe, but I seriously doubt it.