Soon after I got off the plane in Germany I got the bad news. The baby was gone. Doctors visit day before was fine, next day disaster struck. Six months into the pregnancy when things normally are stable. A parent should never have to bury their own child. Still, that's what's coming up for my friends Olaf and Saskia. Funeral and mourning instead of celebration and deciding on a name for the baby.
I lost a child once. Or actually two. It was twins and we lost them after 10 weeks. This will sound terrible but we took it well. We knew about the pregnancy and were a little excited but it was still so early we hadn't quite grasped parenthood was just around the corner. Maybe we weren't ready or perhaps it was our way or dealing with the miscarriage, saying it was no big deal.
What do you say to dear friends who just lost their baby six months into the pregnancy? What do you say to the nicest friends in the world who have been trying for years and finally got pregnant? What do you say to someone who is almost a parent and then everything is gone?
Miscarriage is common, but mostly during the first three months. Around 25% have a miscarriage a some point. But there is a world of difference between three and six months. At the latter stage the baby is real, it moves around a lot and one can see a real human on the ultrasound.
I'm down here for the fifth long weekend in a row playimg professional tennis for my German team. Everyone is heartbroken and a bit in shock. This tragedy is of course unimaginable for Olaf and Saskia but it also poses a tough challenge for the team. There is a match coming up tomorrow which can not be cancelled or moved. We must all be there, fit, focused, and ready. One can not play tennis against great opponents for hours in hot weather without being fired up and mentally ready. This is the last thing we want to do but we still somehow have to do it.
Send some happy thoughts to my friends Saskia and Olaf in Germany.
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