AdventureDad

Roughly 50% of marriages end up in divorce  and parental leave can be a lifesaver in these situations. Just imagine the burden on a sole provider, taking care of the children after a divorce and facing huge costs for child care. Often with little recent work experience.   After a divorce it's mostly women who take custody of the kids although it's common here in Sweden that couples share the time equally.  My sister, who is divorced, takes her three kids for a week and her ex the next week.  Works just fine.

But the problem in most countries is the lack of parental leave which  gives limited choices for women  after having a baby.  Either go back to work after a couple of months or quiet working and stay home full time. Both choices are horrible since they are forced.

I can't really figure out why more countries don't look into the possibility of providing large amounts of parental leave?  I can understand if a society doesn't accept the  moral, health, and ethical standpoint, but in the long run it makes perfect sense from a financial standpoint as well.  Giving a family a good start in life leads to better performance at work, less sick kids (both initially and through the rest of their lives), and much less financial support for women who end up with the children after a divorce. And I'm sure there are another 100 reasons why society as a whole will benefit, both socially and financially.

Many women who have children simply stop working since that's the least crappy choice.  Who wants to dump their kid in expensive day care after 12 weeks? This can unfortunately lead to disaster down the road, like after a divorce, when the kids still need health care, childcare, and food but mommy has not been working for years.  This downward spiral can easily be avoided by providing longer paid parental leave.

I don't feel sorry for the Swedish women who get divorced.  In this society there is no battle of the sexes.  The sexes are more or less equal, we're not quite there yet but working on it, which give every mother and father the privilege of combining children and a career. Or just a normal job. The opportunity is there for every woman to divide parental leave equally with her spouse, keep working, and still give her child(ren) a great start in life.  480 paid days of parental leave, free day care and school, free health care, paid sick days with the kids, and 6 weeks vacation, give women a great chance to raise children without having to sacrifice job or career.

The possibilities in Sweden are there but many old traditions still  remain.  Many fathers do take parental leave and the mother goes back to work after 6-9 months of maternity leave.  Sadly, not all fathers take the chance to be a SAHD for months at a time. But even if the mother gets divorced and has no job there is a good support structure in place to assure that the kids go to school, have the same access to health care as everyone else, and can continue to have a good life. 

My sister has three kids, works as a pre-school teacher, make little money, and work full time.  She's not swimming in money but has a nice place, a car, and a good living standard.  My parents presence in the same town makes it a lot easier but there are many in her situation who manage just fine by themselves.

I've never been in a situation without money but  I really appreciate that the support structure is strong for people who face tough times.  Mostly for the kids.  I never used to be a wimp on these issues but having children has completely changed my views.   I'm not likely to ever use much of the support that is available but I'm still  glad it's there.  Seeing much of the world and meeting people from different cultures has opened my eyes.  I find great relief living in a place where I don't have to see other people and their children struggle for survival on a daily basis.  

Now, how do we slowly change the system and make parental leave an obvious choice for every society?  Would a female president in U.S shake things up a bit and create better family benefits?

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