Day Care - Storage Facility For The Children?
By
on
December 6th, 2007
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My view on parenting seems to be a bit different than other parents around here which is something I notice every day when I pick up my son at day care. I like feedback, lots of it, from the teachers since it really helps me in my job as a father. But I'm very surprised to constantly see parents drop off and pick up their kids without speaking to the teachers. It's like they're picking up a gallon of milk. How do they manage to go through day after day without knowing what their kids do during the day, what they eat, if they are inside or outside, what they are learning, if they are making new friends, or have had a good or bad day? Are many parents today looking at day care as some kind of storage solution for their children?
The feedback I get/give at drop-off and pickup is essential to me. No feedback is like fumbling in the dark. Usually it's just simple but very helpful things that make sure I'm kept up to date and make taking care of the kids so much easier regardless if I'm on paternity leave or not. At drop off I let the teachers now if anything special is going on. Perhaps my son is tired, coughing, runny noise, bad stomach, or hasn't had a good breakfast. Or maybe he's super-happy because of new toys, some excursion we did together, or a new piece of clothing. It's always appreciated by the teachers since it can often explain things that take place during the day. But I constantly see parents dropping off their kids without saying a word, regardless of how good or bad things are going.
At pick-up the teachers always let me know what kind of day he had, who he played with and what they did, how and what he ate, plus anything else they find important. These small comments make my day a lot easier. Perhaps I go straight home if my son has been tired or stay out and play for a hour if they've been inside all day. They also help me decide on choice of food and dinner time plus what we should do during the rest of the evening. Not knowing a thing about my son's day kind of make things difficult.
When you pick up and drop off your children, do you exchange some basic feedback with staff? Or do you go through the week without knowing anything what your kids did, how they felt, what they learned, and need to improve?
Maybe I'm weird but I can't imagine rasing my children without knowing what they go though during the day.
Unfortunately at my daughter’s preschool, the most I get from the teachers is that she’s doing “fine” and had a “good” day. If I ask anything beyond that, they tell me to call them with my questions, the following day, during naptime. When I do call to follow-up, I’ve asked very specific questions, and still gotten one-word answers. Her teachers have repeatedly made it clear that they are too busy to answer questions about how her day was, what she did, etc. and will only talk to me if there’s a problem. I think if she did have a bad day, or something was wrong, or she had misbehaved they would certainly let me know, but since that has never happened I get no feedback at all. I’ve talked to the director of the preschool, who just said the teachers are too busy and if there is a problem to take it up with her. Well, the only problem is that I just want to be able to talk to the teachers and find out how my daughter is doing, and if there’s anything we should be working on with her! Unfortunately, where we live (Los Angeles) my experience is not unique. Our friends at other schools have the same situation. At least my daughter is old enough now to tell me about her day herself. I would love to get the kind of feedback about my daughter that you get about Daniel!
Wow, that really sucks, Michelle. But your comments reinforce the point that I wanted to bring up. I always like to talk to the caregivers at my daughter’s day-care, at least at the end of the day, because it tells me that they have been paying attention and know what my daughter is actually up to. She’s not just being herded around in a group like a sheep. She’s only 2 and things may change when she goes to a real school, but I sure would feel like I was missing a huge part of her life.
I try to chit-chat with the teachers. Jossan’s school is very busy and very disorganized. But the teachers are very sweet and are good to my dd. I ask them questions, and I have even called the school a few times when Josefin has told me something I thought was “strange” and I wanted some clarification. Our conversations usually involved her eating habits or what kind of activity/craft they did that day. Like AD says, I want to be able to talk with her about her day.
Erik’s school is good. They do write daily report sheet of what he did and what he liked during his day plus what he ate and how much. In addition, the teachers write out on a white board of all the activities done so that way parents get to know what went on during the day including crafts, stories, etc.
As for talking to the teachers, we do chit-chat about Erik’s day of whether he had a hard time napping or drinking his milk or eating (those are the big 3 concerns for us, personally). I’ve also asked them about what Erik likes to read or sing and such during the day. Other than that, I mainly rely on the white board for discussing activities and then walking around the room with Erik to see all the art work displayed.
my sisters were never in daycare but when i picked them up from school i never asked the teacher about their days. first of all, i just waited either in the lobby or right outside the school and the teachers don’t all come out with each class. secondly, we had places to get after school and i had my own shit going on. if something was important the teachers gave them notes to take home.
I ask my brat’s teachers about his day. Though I don’t get detailed answers everyday about his day, I do get feedback about how his day was, even if I didn’t ask sometimes. So I think that we are getting somewhere.
At my daughter’s babysitters and afterschool care we get feedback from both, this helps us through some issues she was having.
we don’t get a lot of feedback with the school but we just had a parent teacher night and we got some great feedback from her teacher.
I think the feedback is important because you need to know what’s going on with them. And sometimes the child won’t tell you something for whatever reason so it’s good to get a report for that day.
I normally drop my daughter off in the morning while my wife picks her up. I do try to say hello in the morning and get an idea of what is in store for the day. Unfortunately a lot times it’s very busy and loud so it’s difficult to chat with the teachers. I always make it a point to ask my daughter at dinner every night what she did that day although I almost always get the same answer…”played with Anna”. I think the more information you can get out of the teachers and give to the teachers help both sides reinforce what they are learning. Thanks for making me think about this. I’ll have to try a little harder to speak with her teachers.
this was one of the biggest transition points when my son moved to kindergarten. I no longer received the feedback about his day that I had grown used too from his preschool/daycare. And like you, I loved the feedback from preschool, it was a way for me to stay connected to his day-to-day life. It was rough for a long time in kindergarten, until I figured out I could use email to contact his teacher. And I let go of my expectations….
I always talk to my son’s teachers, but usually at the end of the day so we can review how things went. I find it really helpful and I think the teachers appreciate that I’m so involved. (Though sometimes I worry I’m being a pest.) But my preschool also has a sheet filled out every day on every child about their overall day… good, bad, nap time, what they ate, learned, etc. So even the parents who don’t stop to check in at least get those sheets.
This is fantastic . Just when i am beginning to doubt my own sanity on wanting to know everything my son did at playschool ( he’s 32 months and won’t tell me just sing rhymes when I ain’t looking ). I make it a point to drop and chat for a few minutes even if only to be told that he needs to learn to concentrate a little more etc. I even thought of asking them to enter some notes in his sketch book since the teachers seemed rushed at pick up/drop times. But I chickened out thinking they’d think I was ga-ga !!
Adventure, I see the same drama play out at my children’s child care. My approach has always been to talk with the teachers and my kids when we arrive at class in the morning. I am always surprised by parents who have little or no interaction with the teachers. If you are going to leave the most important people in your life there, wouldn’t you want to have a relationship with their teachers?
I’m late reading this, but wanted to comment. The first comment up above makes me appreciate my daycare even more. I always chat for a few minutes at drop-off and pickup, and the teachers also prepare a sheet with some details (since the same teachers are not always there at the beginning and end of the day).
What I recently learned is that the teachers may appreciate our comments too. I mentioned that my son was saying his numbers a lot lately, and his teacher exclaimed, “Oh, that makes me feel good!” because she had been trying to work numbers into their activities. Sometimes I do feel like a bit of a pest with my chattering and bragging about my son, but the teacher really enjoyed getting some feedback.