AdventureDad

A mother of three girls has been all over the news after being arrested earlier for leaving her 2 year old alone in a car seat while donating spare change to the Salvation Army 30 feet away. The charges were just dropped but the discussion continues.  Is she a bad mother for having left her child alone in the car? Is that irresponsible? Did the police overreact?  Couldn't this case have been resolved at the scene by a simple discussion?

This situation touches me on so many levels. First, I hate bad parenting although this certainly doesn't seem like it.  Second, I also dislike inflexible, overreacting and rude cops even though my experiences with police throughout life has been nothing but pleasant  And third, my experience  with leaving kids unattended in cars (and strollers) differs drastically from situations in U.S. (and other countries). I don't exaggerate when saying that every single parent in Sweden, the country with the safest and healthiest kids in the world, would be arrested every day applying these standards. 

Every now and then I read about children dying after being left in the car during a hot summer day.  Sometimes children are just left on the floor until they die.  I always get outraged over this kind of shit parenting. At first I thought something was missing, surely the mother couldn't have been 30 feet away with her child sleeping safely in her car for a few minutes?  But that seems to be the case and I can't possibly see how that is irresponsible.  Her child was clearly safe, with doors locked in a car not overheated, and she was steps aways for a few minutes.

More on Swedish habits later but I do this stuff all the time despite being a low risk guy somewhat obsessed with child safety.  I pull out of the garage with the kids strapped in when I realize I forgot something in the apartment.  I park outside the building, run in with the kids  in the car, and grab whatever I forgot.  I leave the kids strapped in the car at the parking lot while buying a ticket or unload the car while they are asleep in their seats.  This might be seen as risky behavior in U.S., and completely unthinkable in my wifes hometown of Mexico City,  but it's perfectly fine here in Sweden.  But I think that has more to do with education and parenting than anything else 

I'm not sure why the police felt so strongly about charging this mother.  I could understand if they couldn't find the mother and she was gone for a long time but she was only steps away from the car.  It's true one should be very careful leaving children in a car.  Disasters can happen faster than most think, especially during hot summer months.  But a common sense approach would be nice.  

When the police saw the child and then  the mother, didn't they realize she was right next to the car (if she's telling the truth)?  This must have been easy to quickly verify by talking to the Salvation Army people who were right there.  My guess is that she was not being very friendly and courteous to the police which they tend to dislike.  It just seems like a situation like this could easily be solved with a simple conversation.

The interesting situation with Sweden is that you see children left unattended all day long wherever you go.   Taking a walk through Stockholm, the largest city in Sweden, means finding countless carriages parked outside restaurants and cafe's.  Often with a child napping while mommy or daddy is having a bite to eat inside.  Carriage is in view but still outside  together with several others.  This is beyond safe and usually done with the kids well being in mind.

In winters, kids nap with their winter clothes inside a little sleeping bag placed in the stroller.  Taking them inside would be way too warm so they stay outside and are very comfortable.  They sleep like angels.  In summer we do the same but of curse don't park strollers in direct sunlight and make sure it's not too hot. 

One might believe this is risky and foolish behavior.  That would be wrong.  The Swedes are quite honestly very boring (before at least two bottles of wine) and care more about child safety than any other country in the world.  We are the only country to have a majority of kids face rearwards in their car seats until age 4.  This is by far the safest way to transport kids and makes facing front look stupid and unsafe.  That's how safety oriented we are.

There are no kidnappings of sleeping babies and no kids left alone in the car until they die. This is life over here, kids are our main focus and most parents have a basic education which simply prevents most idiotic child related behavior.  There are still irresponsible parents, just on a different level.

I guess in the end police has to draw the line somewhere.  It just seems like this was not a case of child abuse, the child was perfectly safe (if her story is correct) and resources could have been used more efficiently in other places. If you're a caring parent, isn't it perfectly clear when your child is safe and comfortable in the car?

Categories: Kid stuff, News, Parenting
Tags: car seat, education, features, Parenting, sweden