Calm and peaceful - This baby stuff is great!

By AdventureDad on September 20th, 2005 Print This Post Email This Post

The AdventureDad family is usually calm and peaceful. A little less so while we had visitors from Mexico, but still under control. But the last few months have felt a little weird I must say. Still great but somehow a little different. I haven’t been able to put my finger on it but now I know what’s different. We are *gasp* feeling relaxed and in control of our son and the way we are taking care of him. Very relaxed. That might not sound like a big deal but when you have your first child there are a million questions that you got no answers to. Like the scenarios MetroDad mentioned the other day. And many other serious issues.

We have always been calm and confident parents. And I have always felt really great about being a father. No hesitation and no regrets. Before our baby was born we did our homework, read books, spoke to friends, bought baby stuff, and vacuumed the internet to get a clue over what to expect. I actually think we had a perfectly clear idea over how we wanted to raise our child before he was born. And incredibly enough, things have worked out pretty much according to plans. But when the baby is dropped in your lap and you are on your own things don’t seem as easy as in the books. There has always been so many uncertainties. The desire to do a great job as parent doesn’t make things any simpler.

Is the baby hungry? Too full? Needs to burp? Getting enough boobie? Too warm? Too cold? Developing Ok? Am I holding him correctly? When he screams, what does he want? Will I ever recognize his different screams? Is he sick? Does he have a cold? Does anyone we are visiting have a cold? Why does he have a fever? Is he teething? Too much clothes? Too little clothes? Wrong clothes? What food does he like? When should I feed him? What about naps? When should he nap? Allergic to anything? Can I travel with him? How do I do it? What about long flights? When do I take him to the doctor? What carriage, car-seat, books, clothes, and other equipment should I buy? Am I being a good parent? Those are just a few basic questions that have been going though our heads from day one.

But the last few months have been quite remarkable. It’s a little bit like my work. There can be chaos but I still feel very much in control and I know what needs to be done. It’s a nice feeling. Especially when your dealing with your child which is more important than work will ever be. The daily routines are working great and we now know many of Daniel’s likes and dislikes. Naps and sleeping habits flow nicely and it’s hard to remember that it was ever an issue. He doesn’t speak much yet but can clearly show us what he needs and that is so refreshing. I can actually ask him if he wants more food and he will tell me. Or what food he prefers. If I ask him to sit down he sits. And when I tell him things he clearly understands. Even though he’s confused by our Swedish-Spanish-English experiment and speaks mostly Klingon back to us. And now when he has started kindergarten part-time it gives Sandra so much more time to focus a little more on her needs and wants. Her time with Daniel is now pure joy. Well almost. Smelly poop is still not high on her list of favorites.

In the early days the baby was more of a "package". An eating-sleeping-pooping package. That changed gradually as he got older but I have so far never felt as good as a parent as I do now. At 18 months old he now feels like a real person. I started seeing him as a person rather than a package a long time ago but it’s just so nice to see the way things are developing (knock on wood). I can perhaps take a little bit of credit for all the good things but the majority of the credit goes to Sandra and Daniel. She has outdone herself with Daniel and so far done a freaking unbelievable job. I hope this nice stage lasts for a very long time.