Bleeding Infant = Wife Panic
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on
March 15th, 2007
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I just received a call from a very nervous wife. She was flapping like a salmon and started out with the words no father wants to hear:
Wife: I have some bad news….
Me: "Ok, what happened? Did you crash (again), loose the phone, drop the camera, or misplace the keys?"
I've been with my crazy Mexican wife for almost 20 years so I'm used to getting these calls. I call her "butter-finger" because things seems to just fly out of her hands. Let me just sum it up by saying that things happen to us which probably don't happen to other couples. She must have shortened my life by 10 years already. Fortunately she has not dropped the baby. Yet.
Me:"Did you drop our daughter or something, hahahahah?"
Wife: "I'm at the grocery store and your daughter hit her head. She's bleeding….. I'm a terrible mother"
Me:????
Despite the scary wife behavior I wasn't really worried. I figured if something really bad happened she would have called the ambulance and filled me in from the hospital. I have two kids, my importance in the family is a distant fourth. Just ahead of the mailman and mechanic. Possibly behind the cleaning girl.
So I was fine after hearing that Annika had been sitting in the shopping cart, not in the designated chair since it was too "filthy", and moved suddenly like every infant does a billion times a day. She fell to the side, hit her lip, and bleed like a pig. Funny thing was she didn't cry and wife didn't notice anything. Until she picked her up and got blood on her clothes. Then she freaked out.
out of the cart in the grocery store. But it still made wife feel like a crappy mother.
Before we had kids my wife worried about not being a good mother. She had all these dreams about forgetting to feed her baby for days and also dropping her on the ground. Repeatedly. Her dropping frequency of items has decreased since the kids came along but she's still "butterfinger". I always knew she would be a good mother and in the big picture that's the important thing.
I mean, who cares if she crashed our car and the rental car in five days, dropped and destroyed our digital camera on the ground last week, once flushed her passport down the toilet at the airport, or continued to water a plastic plant for a whole year in the belief it was real? Believe me when I say being married to a Latin never gets boring. We make a good team, the boring Swede and the crazy Mexican.
The watering the plastic plant thing owned me. My wife once cut the whole yard no knowing the riding lawnmower had a reverse. She’s so short she kept covering up the R. Everytime she need to back up she’d put the thing in neutral, cut it off, and push. lol
I have to say, the plastic plant was the tipping point for me too.
Those lip wounds bleed like crazy, don’t they? I can imagine the hens in the store… “Can you imagine? The kids bleeding and she just goes on shopping like nothing is happening!”