AdventureDad

I have one regret about having children.  It is however  a regret filled with lots of "but" and "if".  I wish I would have had children earlier.  Much earlier.  I met my wife ages ago and we've had a brilliant life.  The  ten years before having kids we lived the good life around the world.  And we're really happy we took the time to spoil ourselves.  It makes parenting right now so much easier.  The ideal thing would have been to have kids around 25 but with the life experience, financial resources, and excellent job I have now.  That's of course more or less impossible. One child related goal I have for my own children is to give them much better life experience in their lives than I had myself.   At 25, I wasn't ready to have children but sometimes I wonder what would have happened.  I'm sure it would have been alright but my parenting would not have been great since I didn't have the urge for kids.  And I think that's helpful if you want to do a great job as a father.  Looking back I probably had children at the perfect age for me, considering the circumstances.  But for the past year or so I've been having this strange thoughts about being a grandfather.  It turns out that being a grandfather is probably one of the main goals of my life.

I might not be around to meet my grandkids, who knows what will happen in life.  And I'm just assuming that my children will one time have their own kids, which is far from certain.  But if everything comes together nicely I plan of being the best fucking grandfather ever.  Most important is that I do a good job as a father so that my kids will respect me from an early age and will let me be involved in my grand children's life.  I'm quite confident that will not be a problem so my wishes will be to get to know my grandkids from the very beginning.  It's a fine line between being a  pain in the ass and offering unlimited support when needed. But I'll figure it out by knowing my children well and listening to their needs without being a judgmental jerk.  I will not make some half ass attempt and just see my grandkids occasionally.  I will be there for them every day if needed.  I will move across the country to be near them and I will make sure I'm fit enough to run  around with them on my shoulders.  Being a grandpa and not being involved is not for me.   It would be a waste.  

I can't say I think of grandchildren when I sit around and play with my kids but  the issue of trust is always there.  Without my kids trusting me 100%, the possibilities of being a superb grandfather diminishes.  My kids will be able to call me at 3 am, butt drunk and underage, and I will drive two hours to pick them up.  No problems. They should be able to come to me  with ANY questions they might have about life.  No matter how delicate and embarrassing they might be.  I will be there and support them but I will also hold them accountable for their action and when they screw up you can be fucking sure we will have a serious talk about it.  The issue of trust is extremely important to me and that's also why I have the rule of never lying to my kids.  No lies, not even white lies.  It's sometimes difficult, and often not the fastest way of solving a situation, but I believe the long term results will be outstanding.  Just image you can trust someone 100%.  You can talk about drugs, girlfriends, pregnancy, school, and boyfriends/girlfriends.  Just to name a few.  That's hard to find, it's even more difficult to find within your own family.

The grandfather plan is all set and now I just need to deliver.  I find looking at things in this long term perspective helpful  when things get frustrating. When I get really frustrated about some meaningless crap it helps to know that there are more important issues to focus on. Who cares about the annoying things in daily life when I'm working towards a much larger and meaningful goal?   I can't say it works for every situation but there are many times when bad stuff just seems not to annoy me.  Wish I could feel like that at work as well:-))

Have a great week! 

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