Baby Life Starts At 6 Months
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February 12th, 2007
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The first half year of my children's lives have been tough. It's not the diaper changes, health issues, occasional lack of sleep, crying, nagging, or the demand for constant attention. It's the lack of two way interaction. The first few months consist of little more than eat, shit, and sleep. But we've just reached a stage in Annika's life where she's starting to interact more with her surroundings. The last week has been awesome and I can suddenly see how she's transforming from a little package into a person. I love this next stage. The one that goes from 6 months and continues for the rest of my children's life. Baby life for me starts at 6 months.
There are suddenly so many small changes taking place in Annika's life. She can sit by herself, join us at the dining table for solid food, watch Daniel play around her, and not get frustrated by only staring at the sky. She's a lot happier sitting up in the stroller, naps are nowadays a walk in the park. We can play little games while she sits up on the floor or in her bath tub. I can hand her stuff, and she reaches for more and more. Her curiosity is amazing. And in a huge change, everything I do is now met with a huge smile. These are some small issues that make it a lot more fun to be a father. And it only gets better from here.
Maybe I'm an egoistic asshole and don't enjoy the initial stage as much because I want and need more attention from my child? Perhaps I feel neglected during this time since the breastfeeding makes the mother-child bond so much stronger? Does other fathers feel the same way? I don't know but the possibilities seem endless now when my daughter is responding more as a human than on pure instinct. Annika has been a handful, her colic, reflux, nagging, and high maintenance mood has tested our patience more than a few times. But I'm seeing huge changes during the past week. It's something I've missed, without thinking about it, and I feel so much more useful as a father.
My phenomenal relationship with my son began around the six month stage as well. I clearly remember the turning point like it was yesterday. Sandra went to Mexico and I worked for another month before joining them. When I saw my son he barely recognized me. That was a terrible feeling. Good thing was that I took three months or parental leave at this time and was able to spend 24/7 with him. We've been best buddies since. If you're a father and haven't taken a few months off to spend every minute with your child, you don't know what you're missing. I guarantee that it will be one of the most rewarding things you do in your life. The foundation for a close, life long, relationship is laid right a this time.
All the mothers know what I'm talking about but few fathers do. At least outside Sweden. Paternal leave for father is kind of a norm here, and it shows very clearly. Fathers are very comfortable with their children and time with the kids is shared almost evenly with the women.. We still have some work to do but fathers here currently take care of roughly 45% of child related responsibilities.
I used 6 months of paternal leave with my son during his first 18 months and since it worked so well I will do something similar with Annika. Baby life for me starts right now and I plan on enjoying it. I will take 3-4 months of paternal leave this summer on top of my 7 weeks of vacation. It's not as great as being home 24/7/365 but it's a damn good start. If the relationship with my daughter becomes even half as great as with my son, I will be in heaven.
Have a nice week.
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Man that sounds wonderful…
I feel like I spend way more time with my children than most American Dads. When I am home I do 60%+ of the kid duties. That’s partly because my wife is working on her business for few hours everynight and I spend that time with the boys and I blog after they go to bed.
My chief aim right now is to find more time to spend with my boys. I work on it daily.
You’re a great dad…
I think there is definitly a cultural spin to taking care of kids and being involved but I also think a larger variable is the dad himself. I have met dad from every culture who don’t care about their kids and I have also met dad’s from every culture who care deeply and are heavely involved with their kids.
As for myself??? I wasn’t able to take time off as I am a business owner and there is no benefits for time off… exept I make time in my schedual as I want for the kids. The difference for me is the guilt of not spending time with the kids is greater than the guilt of not working on the business. Which is a good thing. If I keep this in check I know I and they will be ok. I have come to accept I will feel guilt from leaving my business at 3pm on a friday and to embrace the sacrifice and savour the moment of guilt… I know it might sound weird but it’s real for myself.
It’s wonderful that you’ll do that. That time is (I know this sounds banal) precious. PRECIOUS. The very stuff of life.
I’m with you mate. I don’t like the idea of being the type of dad my father was. Stoic Australian male that didn’t show any affection or spend time with us.
Fuck that…..I just want to shower my girls with love and affection all the time and try to soak in as much of it as I can until they hit teenagers and start screaming “i hate you……you just don’t understand!!”
Since my wife used a pump rather than “direct” breast-feeding, I got to “enjoy” more during that first six months, including the fact that I was the one to get up for the 3 AM feeding before heading off to work. I was able to “flex” my hours, so while I did not get the full benefits of a paternity leave, I did manage to get more time than (I think) most by being home by the middle of the afternoon.
It is great that not only do you have these options available, but that you actually use them. Far too many men miss out (intentionally) on these wonders, and it is awesome that you have taken the time to notice. Your life is richer for it, as is your children’s.
It’s so nice to hear something like that. In India many fathers have nothing to do with their children and in fact sleep in a separate room so that they are not disturbed by the child crying in early months. i find it very unfair. my husband though, did all the night shifts with me and manfully pulled his fair share of weight. the sad part is that he is a rarity. i wish he were the norm. as for taking time off with your child.. even a day or so off during the birth is unusual here.
when my daughter was born my mother told me that all babies should be born at six months of age – and she was right.
I think the 6 month mark and when they start being able to talk are two great milestones for the child-parent relationship in general. As my hubby Keen says, being greeted at the door (with either big smiles or, when they are talking, enthusiastic “Dad!”) is just the greatest feeling in the world. He calls it his own “personal fan club”.
Your holiday schedule and paternity leave makes me want to move to sweden! I wish we would get more of that here in US. My husband took off 4 weeks after the birth of our twins but not sure he could get 3 to 6 months like you describe.
He is a very attached dad and does more than his fair share considering he is working full time and going to school!
But lucky you!
by the way, Annika looks so cute on your banner!