Baby + fatherhood = Breakdown??
By
on
October 5th, 2005
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The well respected Swedish newspaper Svenska Dagbladet had two full pages yesterday about new fathers who develop psychological problems after their child is born. And another shorter follow-up article today about the same subject. The articles are unfortunately in Swedish but gives you a perfect opportunity to brush up on the useless Swedish language.:-) As you might know the parental benefits in Sweden are unbelievable so many fathers share parental duties with the mothers during the first two years or so. They interviewed a new father who went into a deep crisis after his son was born. The father was unable to eat, sleep, or function properly. He developed tremendous anxiety over his new role as a father and doubted his capabilities. First after going to a psychologist with his wife did things improve and the couple is now doing better.
It’s pretty common for women to develop some kind of depression after a child is born. This gets a fair amount of publicity but I have read very little about fathers developing depressions. According to the research in the article, roughly 15 % of all new fathers end up with such severe psychological problems that it’s diagnosed as a psychosis. I’m not really sure what to say about this result. I’m sure it’s accurate but 15 % doesn’t sound very high to me. That sounds like a fairly normal number for any human being to end up in a severe depression. Regardless if you had a child or not. Or am I totally off here?
The research indicates that the amount of new fathers with depression is increasing which is actually a good sign. This mean that fathers are taking on more responsibility and spending more time with their children. The downside is that the hospitals don’t have great knowledge and experience regarding treatment of new fathers. The network for women is excellent but more work needs to be focused on fathers.
Personally I have not had any depressions or psychological problems after our son was born. A reason for that might be that I’ve always been a bit weird. Another reason is definitely that we waited a long time to have children. We had fun and traveled the world for ten years so it felt right to have a baby. When I sometimes wondered if it would be difficult to be a father it helped me to think of all other fathers. If everyone else can do it why shouldn’t I be able to? My approach has always been to be a great father. Not just a good father, a great father. My approach toward fatherhood is similar to work or my sports career. Average is simply not good enough, it has to be top notch. Am I succeeding as a great father? I don’t know. Is too subjective of a question and my son is probably the one that should answer this at some point in the future. So far it feels like things are going amazingly well. But Sandra has of course a lot to do with that. I’m not surprised that both new fathers and mothers can have problems and feel anxiety. There is just so much uncertainty. You have to take proper care of your child (without any previous experience) and at the same time handle work and the relationship with your spouse. Some people also have anxiety over their financial situation which can be very tough.
I’m curious to know what other fathers think. Is 15 % a high number for new fathers with depressions? What’s the percentage for women?
I know that I had some serious doubts and some serious sleep deprivation but never depression or phycosis. 15% seems to me like an accurate number but I would like to know if there were other circumstances that would also cause the depression.
It is a major change of life to have a kid. It takes time to adjust, How long after these depressed men were fathers did the depression set in? Weeks? Months? Why don’t they ever do studies onb people who take the challenge of fatherhood and thrive?
I remember that I think my wife was more apprehensive than I was with both kids, and with our first, I was the one staying home full time with her. I don’t remember feeling depressed, more like really excited and happy. But hey, maybe I’m just weird…
I agree with you — 15% is not very high, just a normal percentage. And, no, you’re not weird. You just have a very healthy relationship and outlook! For a lot of people, however, major life transitions cause stress and anxiety. That’s why there are therapists — like me! Or, more accurately, like I will be.
I’ll add a vote for “15% seems pretty normal.”
I just had what I would consider the normal doubts of “will I be a good father,” but certainly nothing even close to depression. Actually, it affected me more when I went back to work and couldn’t be around thNut all day long, although [again] nothing close to depression. You seem pretty normal to me, but then who am I to say. ;-)
Aug 19th, 2007 at 7:16 pm
stress anxiety and depression…
http://drug-addictions.blogspot.com/…