AdventureDad

Annika is 7 weeks old now and the challenges with more than one child are becoming clearer.  I talked earlier about how the older sibling is the key to a relaxed and functional family.  That has worked out really well since Daniel behaves well, nags very little, and generally goes along with our plans.  But another issue has popped up. 

 

There is no magical formula for this but I can feel this becoming more of an issue as Annika gets older.  At the moment it's not too complicated.  She's right now an eating-shitting-sleeping machine where no real two-way interaction is possible except the occasional smile.  But this will rapidly change in a month or two.  What's the strategy  for keeping both siblings happy and not wanting to kill each other?  I want my children to be very close to each other as they grow up.  Me and my sister are not close at all.  And it has always been like that.  I can never remember us having a loving relationship.  We don't fight but speak to each other once a year.  The bad thing is that I don't know why.  I've asked my parents but they have no good explanation.  

 

The current division of tasks is straight-forward.  Sandra spends a majority of her time with Annika.  Daniel is at day care half time and comes home at 3 pm.  Sandra spends a few hours with Daniel but is limited in activities since Annika is with her as well.  In two weeks this will be even more challenging since her mom then leaves for Mexico.  She's been here almost three months and helped us out a lot, especially with Annika.  My time after work and during the weekends is spent almost entirely with Daniel. I get to cuddle some with Annika but she's usually either sleeping or eating. Daniel is missing me a lot and clings to me like glue when I'm at home. It's sometimes a little tough after a rough day at work but it's great to see that he likes me so much.  This morning he was begging me not to go to work.  It was the toughest day in a long time leaving him at home.  I can't wait for next summer when I will be taking three or four months of parental leave.

 

Daniel has not been very jealous so far but any time I hold Annika he also want me to pick him up.  That's tough since he's not a little baby any more.   When Annika gets older, say after 18 months or so, the kids will be able to spend more time together actually playing with  each other.  But until then the activities are very split.  One great activity the family can do is biking.  I've talked about how much Daniel loves sitting in the bike seat on my bike and how it's the perfect way for exercise and bonding with your child  By next summer Annika will be old enough for some nice long rides and Daniel can either bike on his own without training wheels or join us on our bikes.  Winter is just around the corner and Daniel is already talking about playing in the snow and riding  his snow racer.  That's a bit early for Annika but we do have a special plastic sled with a raised back for extra support.  She will be able to ride gently in that one from six months of age.  The biking and winter sledding are not activities they do together but it's the closest we will get for quite some time.

 

For those of you that have more than one child, how did you approach this sensitive situation?  What were some of the warning signs that things were about to go to hell with the older sibling?