A healthy mix of boy and girl
By
on
April 21st, 2006
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I've been thinking lately about what Daniel is interested in. We've always tried to expose him to all kinds of toys and atmospheres but it turns out that he's mostly interested in typical "boy stuff". No dolls or handbags. But plenty of cars, trucks, and airplanes. I'm not worried about the current direction but I wish he would be a little more interested in items from the other gender as well. We are expecting a girl in August and I would love if this made our son more interested in some more girl stuff. Is there a good way of doing this without forcing him (which we don't believe in)? All of you parents that had a boy and then a girl, did this make your son more interested in girl stuff? Not pink dresses on a daily basis but a little more female influence.
Some people may take offense when talking about what is typical girl or boy toys and I 
mean no disrespect when talking about this. We are after all living in Sweden, the country where equal rights for men and women have progressed much further than any other country on earth. We knew before he was born that it was a boy but we didn't go crazy and decorated the room with race cars or fire trucks. Clothing was pretty neutral but a girl would have gotten more pink cute stuff from my wife. Toys were neutral in the beginning until we learned what he was interested in. We tried early on to expose him to dolls etc. but he has never shown any interest. He got very few toys at a young age but when we visited someone with lots of toys he always chose cars or trains. You know, traditional toys for boys. Why is this usually the path boys take? It seems to be so natural when they reach for those cute toy cars. Are we as parents unconsciously steering Daniel towards the traditional boy stuff?
The interesting thing is that Daniel is very popular with the girls. I don't know why but they simply love him. Most of his good friends and usual playground pals are girls. He does play with some boys but seems to get along better with girls. When our little girl arrives in August I would of course like her to be interested in some traditional boy toys as well. It would for sure be more practical since we already have a nice selection of toys for boys:-) Is it easier to get a girl interested in boy stuff than vice versa?
I think whatever they see is what they play with… my ex-husband was in the Navy and gone often, and my oldest child was a girl. By the time her brother was 20 months, he loved to carry a purse, brush fake blush on his cheeks, and wanted me to paint his nails! (Don’t worry, none of it was allowed to remain in place upon his father’s return!) So I think like likes like… and also, kids like all toys. Your son may want a doll when his sister is born, and she may have a penchant for front-loaders. By the time they’re 16, they’ll all just want the keys to the car!!!
Well, at least they won’t steal each other’s toys. :)
We’ve taken a neutral tact with our daughter (age 2.5), it seems she’s most interested in dolls, block and musical things - musical things being the most interesting to her. It’s my opinin that little girls like dolls because they are more likely to be vocal earlier than boys, and subsequently develop an appreciation of a narrative earlier. My daughter often tells stories to herself while acting them out with the dolls.
There was a study done with baby monkeys, where they offered boy and girl monkeys a variety of toys that were both gender specific and neutral. They did this study to see what boy and girl primates would choose without a cultural bias that might be pushing them towards one type of toy or another. Interestingly, the boy monkeys chose toys that involve spatial movement, such as cars, i.e. typical “boy” toys. The girl monkeys gravitated towards toys that involve community interaction, such as dolls. And both the boy and girl monkeys chose the neutral toys equally.
I don’t worry too much about what my son plays with. He likes particular things and we try to give him toys that reflect those interests. Right now he’s heavily into looking at the faces on the covers of our DVD collection!